Classes and Triggers

TeenSeen · 05-08-2011, 03:55 AM

Okay, so as I'm writing this down it sounds a little stupid and... childish, but I need talking through this if anyone can help me out....It really isn't that big a deal, but anyone who can help me, please, please do...

We got our class schedule's today, which should have been awesome, seeing as how I'm really excited for the school year, but I looked it over and saw one big thing in it that I've been stressing over for a while.

I have a class put on for a teacher that seriously scares the hell out of me, and makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and unwanted. It's not a required class, and it's in place of a class that I really wanted to take and I would feel safe in, because the teacher of that class made me feel safe.

However, we also got a notice that told us that if we wanted to change a part of our schedule's, it would be in extraordinary circumstances and it would rarely if ever be granted. I was going to ask my school counseler for her to talk to the office about changing it, but then I'm afraid I'll have to tell her why, and one of the main reasons is that I feel extremely triggered.

I don't feel particularly safe around this counseler either, not enough to tell her about my history in self harm and depression. But at the same time, I know that if I take the class I'll end up stressing and probably self harming again.

After I saw the schedual, it was the first time I'd had an urge to self harm since summer started, and I'd been enjoying it since before then, but now I just feel...A pit in my gut anytime I think of the school year.

I know this is stupid, but if anyone could help in any way, please do? Or at least some hugs?

I know their are worse things in the world going on then what I'm going through, and I feel selfish even posting this, but I was afraid I'd self harm otherwise...And I'm afraid I will if I can't get ahold of myself.

PassedExpectations · 05-08-2011, 04:03 AM

you should definately tell your councelor... it sounds like an extenuating circumstance to me.

if the teacher has done something to you, i think the school should know about it as well. especially if other students might be feeling the same way. if you didn't want him to know that you talked about whatever happened or how you're feeling they'll probably keep it confidencial. my school has been really good about that when i've had problems with teachers and i know they are the same for other students as well.

and oh, it absolutely doesn't sound childish

KitOKeefe · 06-08-2011, 05:58 AM

Try to come up with a logical argument as to why you should take the class you wanted to take. Make it sound like it will help you with your future or something. A lot of what administration says is talk anyway. I'm sure you aren't the only one that is going to disregard the note.