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Funny Mental Health Hotline (joke, but not for people who get easily offended)
I didn't really wanrt to open a new thread for this, but I couldn't find something like a joke-thread or anything...
I was first handed this joke when a psychiatrist came to my school for one of this job-interest-days when several people come and tell the class about their jobs and what you need to study etc.
So this woman came in, handed us sheets with this joke and I was apparently the only one who thought it was overall hilarious. Ended up having to explain everything, annoying...
I hope you find this funny, too and we don't already have it somewhere in this forum. Please don't see this too serious... if you don't think this is funny, just leave it... And maybe the more creative people in here could add to it? (I'm not creative so I have to pass).
Hello, and Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - nothing will help you anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on line.
If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
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