i don't even know
I'mstressed, i'm in grade 12, tons of tensions with my mum, the musical opens tmo night, choir is going to nationals, other choir is going to portland, other choirs are going to festival
i havnt been on here is a very loooooong time,
i dont want to waste anyone's time
though thats what i seem to be best at
just ranting and annoying people and makign them depressed
i keep forgetting my antidepressants till like noon on weekends cuz i don't have to get up for school
i'm still cutting and burning or what have you, i don't really care by this point
half of me just wants to go off myself now, but i'm too scared
or too worries i'll **** it up and end up in hospital and therapy or a residential care place for months after
i have college to get into next year
and i have a chemistry mark i really need to keep up
report cards are soon
everythinghas turned bollocks ****
sorry, now i'm just wasting your time by posting and making people read this
tuasfddddddgj
]
offing myself or gettign stoned out of my mind right now are very comforting options
i just dont know
and i'm pretty much past the point of caring
i just want it to be June so i can get out of ****ign high school
help
sorry
Last edited by thefabulous : 27-02-2011 at 10:51 PM.
Reason: my frantic typing was crap
it doesn't really sound like you don't care about what happens....... it sounds like you don't want to care, but that its actually really worrying you and stressing you out.
are you in the play and going on all the choir trips? they sound like a ton of work and stress, especially at the moment. is there any way you could make them easier to cope with? maybe make sure to plan some time to relax after them.
it sounds like getting some support would be good for you right now since you're feeling so unsafe. maybe you could talk to a councelor at school about how you're feeling. he or she could also help talk to your directors if that would help you.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
i'm in a weekly therapy, but i've had to cancel last weeks cuz of musical rehearsals and such, my choir teacher knows i'm depressed i had a long talk with her about it, i'm on a vice rotation atm to deal with it, either cutting, smoking, taking pills, whatever, or ranting to people but i hate wasting peoples time when i have no right to feel this shitty, i try to relax when i have tie, but my mum neeeds me to go out to yoga ect and do housework and i have chores and errands
you aren't wasting anyones time. and there isn't really any such thing as "a right to feel this shitty"..... you don't deserve to feel this bad, and you deserve help and deserve to feel better. reasons that are small to other people can be really big to others. thats some of how people can support each other on here. because the things that really really throw one person for a loop and that they have a hard time handling aren't necessarily the same things that do that for someone else.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
You're not a waste of time at all! We all need support sometimes :)
Are you interested in finding someone to talk to? That may be a good idea if you think it would help. Maybe if you look for someone you think you can trust it would work out. Have you tried distracting yourself at all? Some things that help me are music, art, or getting out of the place I'm in. I also draw on myself with red markers/pens sometimes since it's the color of blood, but doesn't do any harm. I've also heard holding ice cubes against your skin can help
I really hope you're doing alright... Send a PM if you need to talk
*hugs and love*
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
You're certainly not a waste of anybody's time, I'm sure of it.
I can understand; stressful situations and busy times have a way of bringing out certain problems and issues, such as the self-harm. And you do seem to be busy... Maybe you can try to find some nice distraction? Like, no matter how busy you are, put some time at the end of the day to do something that you really enjoy and relaxes you; that often helps me get through a hard day.
When moods like this hit, a tendency can be to want to withdraw and spend time alone, but maybe it could help you to spend time with others, even if it's just hanging out, doing something low-key like that. Do you have any good friends that you could talk to? That could help you get some of this stuff off your chest.
And I just have to ask...What musical are you doing? I'm super big into musicals (I did every one through high school) and they're my absolute favorite thing to do/watch. Why don't you send me a pm or something, especially if you need to talk to somebody who has experience with music stress. I'm a music student, so I totally understand how hard it can be. (if pms aren't good, I also have skype and AIM, just let me know)
thouroughly modern millie.
we opened last night, just had our second show, i'm chorus and understudying for muzzy, though i really really really really really wanna be muzzy...
