She's been eating a lot less lately. And I checked her BMI, with her, and it was in the underweight range. I thought this would spark her to start eating a bit more. She told me she feels like she needs to lose weight and that she feels guilty when she eats. I have one friend who battled with an ED a few years ago, before I was close with her, and have alerted her to this. But no one else because I don't want her to lose trust in me.
I don't know how to help her. She's my best friend and I'm incredibly worried. I've been trying to encourage her to eat, even if only a bit every day. But I don't think she is. I love her to death. Does anyone have any advice on how to help her? If it may be triggering, PM it to me. I've never had an ED so I don't know what to do. She won't talk to anyone. And I want to try to address it before it gets out of hand.
Thank you for any help you may have.
I may only seem to be a drunken,
vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels.
But I know about art and love,
if only because I long for it with every fiber of my being.
hi love.
first of all,i think you are a very good freind,and its good that you care about her.
I have an ED and i recognise what your freind is doing. my advice would be to try and gently encourage her to get help now,before it becomes too severe. It may be worth checking with a gp or someone,as eating disorders have many symptoms,and maybe a professional could give a diagnosis.
Please try not to take it personally that she wont talk to you.If she does have an ED,it is part of the illness to isolate.
I think you are a very kind freind.please pm me anytime.
take care
I think you should try and talk to her more about why she is doing it rather than what she is doing, as such. Has anything happened recently to upset her? Does she recognise that she might have an ED? Maybe just explaining to her that she will get ill if she carries on and that these things are highly addictive, she needs help. Try and get to her to go to her GP. You sound like a good friend and she is lucky to have you. Look after yourself too.
Thanks to both of you. Unfortunately, I'm in uni while she's in highschool so I haven't seen her in a couple weeks and won't for another week. But I have a friend in highschool who's trying to help. Her parents are her doctors so she's leery of talking to one, but I'm going to try to get her to come see mine. I've tried pointing out to her that she might but she insists that "it's probably just normal". And I don't take it personally. I struggled with SI so I understand not wanting to talk but I also know that it sometimes helps to so I constantly tell her if she needs to, I'm always here for her. I'd skip class and come down to get her if I needed to.
I know her sister has some issues and that has kinda upset the balance in ehr household so I wonder if more has happened with her family than she's told me. Her birthday is next week so I'm going down to see her and hopefully get her out of the house for a day to talk some.
Thank you both so much. And more advice would always be appreciated. I just feel lost in how to help her.
I may only seem to be a drunken,
vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels.
But I know about art and love,
if only because I long for it with every fiber of my being.
hi again love.
it sounds like you are doing your best to help her.it must be difficult if you dont see her often.
could you write her a letter? personally,i find it easier to write things down rather than talk about them.perhaps if you wrote her a letter,just about everyday stuff-ask her how she is,tell her what you are upto etc,maybe she will eventually open up to you.going out somewhere with her is a good idea.its sometimes easier to talk when outside,you know?
make sure you take good care of yourself too hun.
i wish you both the best and am thinking of you.
love and hugs
Hi,
It sounds like you're being a really good friend to her. I know how upsetting it can be to see a friend going down this path and it's great that you're trying to stop it going any further. Please try not to shoulder the whole responsibility alone or let it drag you down because it can be really hard. I'm glad there's another friend who can help.
Is there any way you could go with her to see a Dr? I had a friend in a similar position and she was reluctant to go to a GP but by offering to make the appointment for her and go with I managed to persuade her.
Good luck with talking to your friend about this! Don't expect miracles but being there for her to talk to is probably really helpful for her.
xxx
Always seem to get things just that little bit wrong.
"don't wish, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart"
She's afraid of her family finding out so she's hesitant to talk to a doctor. But in a week, she comes of age, so legally if she asks the doctor not to tell her parents, they can't. I'm trying to get her to come see my GP and told her I'd go with her. Even if she wanted to go to a different one since mine is far from her house, I'd go with her. I text her daily. All during classes, mostly just trivial things like how much she hates her math class, how I sleep during mine, etc. Only on the afternoons/evenings do I ever try to bring up more and always give her the option of changing topics if she wants.
She just told me that this has been going on for way longer than I thought and that she'd tried to stop before and had kinda managed to get it under control during last school year but it started getting out of hand again in June.
I'm taking care of myself as well. Thank you for your concern though. :) And for all the advice. I forgot how wonderful the people on this website are.
I may only seem to be a drunken,
vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels.
But I know about art and love,
if only because I long for it with every fiber of my being.
It's good she has awareness that it's a problem and knows how long it's been happening, that's a good sign. I would suggest to say to her that it's great she has tried to stop before but that everyone needs help every now and then and she deserves it too, so she should try and stop this time but with good professional support.
It's a really common worry about not wanting parents to find out. I seriously doubt a GP would not listen to her concerns about this and only in very special circumstances would they tell next of kin i.e. if she was at serious risk from herself right now.
I know it must be hard to hear but there is only so much you can do and it sounds like you're doing all you can. You can't put too much pressure on yourself to take this away from her because you'll get overwhelmed too. These things are long term problems and will take time to overcome, you sound like you're being an amazing friend already.
