Not faith in anyone else but you. Not God, not your friends, not even your enemies.
I know faith can take on many defintions. Someone once had faith in me. She told me I could do something (about not doing something to myself).
I had made a date to do it. After the intense pressure of wanting it so much, having anticipation, the purchasing, the hiding of items, the day finally coming, and then talking and proving to myself that if I did this act, it would be devestating (in more than one way) that I didnt do it.
I hid away from people. I hid from my husband and kids. I hid from myself.
From that date I chose though, I have had this change in heart. A growing flutter that makes me have this awkward thing on my face called a smile. Is this part of having faith in ones self?
Today I stand before my mirror a little more encouraged.
I want to know from others what it means to have faith in yourself.
Proud of you and for you FRainy.
I thought faith, recovery would be...brighter? More pronounced.
I saw it as the bright light of...idk what.
I think I have learned/am learning it is simply living, day by day.
Happy at times, sad at others, but still going on.
Knowing I can now do it, whatever 'it' may be.
Having faith in myself means that I see myself as other people see me. Someone bright, successful, kind and funny. Someone who can do the things I really want out of life. It feels like I can do whatever I want, and I know that I can do those things. I just feel those thoughts bursting out from inside of me. I feel joy at being alive. I feel like I have a future I can look forward to and be proud of.
*cuddles*
It's completely possible for you to feel things like that too. I know it.
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: 'This glass is half full'. And then there are those who say: 'This glass is half empty'.
The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: 'What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
For me, having faith in myself means being able to do a job I love that has alot of responsibility. It's a huge high for me to know that even on a bad day I have enough faith in myself to know I can get through it.
I don't know you at all but so cool to hear you are learning to have faith in yourself.
faith- doing something I couldnt see myself doing before. trusting self that doing the task would be better for me- ending in a smile of contentment that it was completed.
No idea but I am SO proud of you Rain, and so very happy
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
This really made me smile. I am not sure what it means to have faith in oneself but your first post sounds like you are starting to get some (faith) and that faith is WELL DESERVED! You have done really well. You should be proud of yourself x
Rain!! You are SO cool! That's great Way to go, chica!
Much much love
Ally
I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~ Marilyn Monroe
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
I did finish. Top of my class. I still need to do my rotations..no biggie.
It has been a bit quiet in my lil upstairs room of my head. I havent been on meds for about 6 weeks now. Today was the first day in about 4 weeks that I have really struggled NOT to think about cutting. I know I have about 2 hours before anyone gets home. It has been a LONG 6 months without it. I feel excited that I even have the chance. I found some tools too. I just know that I would require help after doing the deed. But I also think about a release it would be. Get the old me out.
Thursday is kinda bumming me out too. Not really looking forward to it. But it happens. Every year. How old is old anyhow???
Trying to distract.
I am positive though. 6 months is a way long time. Finishing school was a great accomplishment. I am proud of mysefl. I still have a bit of faith in myself.
Im so amazed by you rain!!! Thats amazing and huge what you have achieved I hope you have celebrated your acheivements because you really deserve it!!
I have every belief that you didn't cut, because you dont need to cut the old you out, because what you are doing right now proved that the positive you and the negative you can work together (If you know what I mean) And all of you is part of you and I personally have learnt to accept both sides of me and make them work together in a positive way then you can be amazing, like you already are.
If im not making much sense its because my minds still trying to process whats happened today as I had faith in myself, I believed in myself, I pushed myself, I stepped out of my comfort zone and faced challeges and believed in myself to make the right decisions, right choices and to have the confidence to be able to trust myself. I believed in me. I had faith in me.
At this moment in time i think thats huge and im just a little emotional and overwhelmed, shocked whatever at this moment in time.
People keep telling me something at work...they even have a card that plays music...dubbed my theme song....they keep telling me I am "simply the best"...hence the song "youre simply the best...better than all the rest..."
WOW
Just wow.
(I shall try to post a pic of the cake they bought me...it says the same)
You ann, today...you are simply the best...sing it in your head..cause you are.
Yes- it all made sense to me.
You are great. I am proud of you!
Rain
Reading this today seems so alien to me. It doesn't seem like it was me that wrote it. Im not that person, that person's a fake a fraud a liar someone who hurts others a bad person a naughty person a victim.
That's so great to hear Rain :)
I guess having faith in myself is believing I am am making decisions and choices that are right for me. That I am taking steps to move forward
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
Lovely i have always had Faith that you would make it through and LOOK where you are! I am so proud of you!!!!
Having faith in myself? i'm not sure right now, i'm struggling a bit. When I find that faith again I may admit to Mat that things aren't good right now. Not sure! I'll let you know when I find it :)
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
Repeatig faith to myself has certainly been cathartic, but im scared it will lose its meaning soon even tho i havent a bloody clue what that meaning is.
(is there a direct correlation between boob size and levels of faith? :P)
xxx
~Phoenix~ is my Little Sister of Awesomeness and Self-Delusion :P Bitter Angel is my Mitten Animad is my Top Trump All Im Living For - Is my beautiful and special daughter who isnt called Kim but will moan if i dont add her :P
