Telling Mum? updated

[sherbet lemon]

Ok this has been on my mind a lot lately and my counsellor and social worker and other people have also suggested telling my mum although i really am scared stiff. i dont think that she would understand at all. and to be honest i am unsure how i could tell her. another thing is i dont really want her to see my arms and i wouldnt be comfortable with that.

Just wanted some advice really, and maybe any experiences of how you have told a parent or someone close to you.

Thanks Cat xxxxxxx

[makedamnsure]

I think it really depends. No-one can predict how she react. parents worry a lot about their children and so although she might be shocked and upset I think in some ways it might help your mum to know.

My mum was terrified I was going to kill myself so to find out i was "only" cutting and wasn't at all suicidal was a huge relief to her.

Your mum can probably see that something is wrong and will probably feel quite helpless in all of this to know how to help you. Letting her in and telling her honestly and openly about what is going on might help bring you closer and maybe make her feel more able to help.

She wouldn't have to see your arms if you don't want her to.

If you are not sure how to tell her maybe write a letter, or invite her to a session with your counsellor or social worker and tell her while they are there. They might be able to help explain to her the more scientific type things behind self harm (its a coping mechanism etc etc) and help her to understand more.

[xgx]

When my parents found out it didn't really go to well they just were constanlty watching me and called me stupid. If i were you id test the water first like maybe saying a friend of your self harms and shes worried about telling her mum and see what she says?
hugs

[bleedjusttoknowimalive]

Well, when I told my mom she almost cried, but didn't freak out. I showed her my arms and she didn't really react except to say, "Wow those are really bad." So I don't think you should be too afraid to tell her.

[bella54]

i told my mum when i was drunk...im not saying get drunk because you may end up saying more than you mean to! but i know how hard it is to have to tell someone that and i dont think i would have done if i hadnt been drinking. To start with id tell her the basics and let her digest that. Make sure she knows that it isnt her fault, that you love her and she couldnt have done anything to prevent it its just your way of coping. Be honest. I didnt think my mum would understand at all and im not sure she does but she understands how self critical i am and links it to that which i guess it partly is. She doesnt bring it up she just briefly asks how my counselling was i say fine and she drops it. Thats the way i like it. Your mum will love you no matter what and she will want to help you, let her know you are telling her because you trust her. Maybe write it in an email or on paper and read it to her.
It is a very brave thing to do and it is likely to turn out bettter than you are iagining it in your head!
good luck x

[LittleKitten]

I told my parents when it got out of hand and I accidentally took it too far. I only told them coz I thought I was dying. They did not react well, but I suppose finding out like that isn't really the best way. If I were you I'd wait for her to be in a calm mood, and make sure you're not feeling like self-harming at the time or it could go worse.

[sherbet lemon]

i told herwas hard but it had to b done

can ive a cuddle

[makedamnsure]

well done.
how did she react?
hugs

[xgx]

hugs.
how it go?

[Freedom Fighter]

Yep its hard but in the end telling the parents is worth it.

[xxemolollypopxx]

*HUGS*
Good job! How did she take it and how did you do it?

[sherbet lemon]

we sort of just had heart to heart n i toldher

she was crying and so was i and has asked lots of questions

think that she wants to comewith me tothedoc during the week so am bit scared but hopefully it will help her understand