Triggering (SI/OD) - Please tell me what's wrong with me

[ProzacSmile]

Sorry.. i don't really know where to post this, i just needed to open up a bit.
I have been SI free for 23 days now. But i seem to be more depressed because of it. I walk around in public and feel like people are staring at me.. i cry.. i sleep.. i feel so low and depressed like i want to die.
I never felt so bad when I was SI'ing.
I don't have a clue why I feel like this. I'm taking my meds when I should. I even met a great new guy.. and I think he's what i need.. i like him a lot. He won't take any crap from me which i know is good.
So why do I feel so low?
I really can't stop crying right now and i haven't cried in months :(
But surely not SI'ing is a good thing????????????????

xxx

[Whichyway]

Hayz do you think in some way you might be mourning it? This has been your first major down since you have stopped self harming and you are doing really really well :) you know what is good for you and thinking that SI is better because it is a temp instant fix is not so good. Why dont you talk to Jay? tell him how you feel, tell him you need a shoulder to lean on, if you think he is the right guy for you then he will be there for you <3

keep safe, see you soon
xxxx

[Ninja Orange]

*hugs*
The way I see it, you can't really take something away and leave a vacuum. How are you coping instead of the SI?
Of course not SIing is a good thing, but you need to replace it with something.
Meanwhile, can you talk to your boyfriend about how you're feeling, tell him you need support now.

[ProzacSmile]

Not really replaced it with anything.. just kinda bottling things up and going into myself and getting more depressed. Have appt with counsellor tomorrow i will try and talk to her.

Tink.. thanks my baby girl i love you so much. Have spoken to him a bit and he's trying to be supportive in his own little way. Missing you :(

Still can't seem to understand why im crying so much when i havent for months :(

[Stellata]

Bottling things up can just make it more explosive inside.

I'm glad you have counselling tomorrow, that's really important.

[Lemons!]

Being SI-free is definitely a good thing, but seeing as you said that you're just bottling things up instead that might be why you're feeling so bad. Maybe you could try something else, more healthy to cope with your emotions?
Different things work for different people, like writing it down, doing some exercise or talking to somebody. Even crying can help sometimes.

Congratulations for staying SI free by the way and keep up with it. You've been doing great so far and I'm sure it can stay that way. Hope your counselling appointment went well for you as well.

Take care of yourself.
xx

[Kitkat :)]

You might feel so depressed because when you got low before self-harm would make you feel better, so when you stopped maybe you felt like your only crutch to feeling better was taken away so you feel more depressed?

Self-harming isn't a good thing, maybe you just need to find someone to talk to and help you uncover why you feel like this? Like maybe a counsellor or a psychologist or someone? Then they can find the root cause as to why you feel like this and then you can tackle the problem.

I wish you all the best (: