Nothing seems to be getting better, just worse and worse every day. Last night Jared had to come over and just hold me until I stopped crying. I hate this... hate hate hate it. I'm going to try and go see my doctor today. I'm so horribly scared and nervous and the odds of me being able to even get in are so slim. Our only phone in the house is apparently dead, so I can't even phone. I'm late for work because I slept in... I'll have to go to work and be like "hold that thought" and run over to the clinic and beg for them to get me in today, which they probably won't because my doc is ALWAYS booked solid. Even if I get in to see her, I'm scared because I don't want to go back into the hospital... last time I went to the hospital. I hate that place. I don't want to go back.
But I'm so scared and can't put Jared through this anymore
You can hold on long enough. I know you can. *hugs* Here if you need me. Hope things get better for you soon.
oh non-believer, please believe me.
is there honestly nothing in this world
that keeps you living & breathing?
you're a ghost in your own
goddamn city.
i think its definatly a good idea to speak to your doctor. explaing that you neded crisis intervention. you can stay strong sweetie and get hrough this hard patch.
I duno... I'm feeling a lot better this week. I keep feeling like "it won't last" and I should just go see my doc... but at the same time I reeeeaaaally don't want to. I kina feel like it'd be silly to go in there and say "I've been really depressed, but I feel GREAT today!".
I know I'm not "great", I know I'm not even fine... I know I have a lot of fleeting thoughts still that aren't good to have, and I know it's just a matter of time before they start dragging me back down... just for now I have a bit of hope and for now I have a bit more motivation to get up, go to work and accomplish at least half of what I'm supposed to.
I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better :) Even if it is a little.
&& I'm glad to hear it feels like enough for you but I think you should definatly go and see the dr. Explain that you had a reallly bad week last week and yeah you do feel a bit better but you feel like you could be in trouble again...and you think that is a very realistic possibility.
I know its horrible to do but they're doctors and there to help you :)
Stay strong xoxo
"And just like the movies, we play out our last scene. You won't cry, I won't scream."
"There's just chaos, and violence, and random unpredictable evil that comes out of no where. && rips you to shreads."
