Triggering (SI) - i didnt think it was my fault

Whichyway · 13-10-2009, 10:14 AM

Im really sorry.
i have just walked out of a lecture and been really bad :( i have doctors appointment at 2.40 today which got made for me yesterday at a different doctors appointment. When i saw the doctor yesterday because i have hit a major down phase she said it was all my fault and if i had attended weekly appointments as advised then i wouldnt be feeling like this. I have had such a good couple of months though, not hurt myself once, not even felt like hurting myself, i didnt think i needed the appointments if i was doing fine. im really worrying they are going to be mad at me, i didnt even know i was wrong. I really dont think i can deal with this :( i just want to run away, curl up and cry.

in another life · 13-10-2009, 11:09 AM

*offers supportive hugs* You thought u were doing ok and I think your dr could have found another way of explaining the importance of your follow up appointments and speaking to you, your doctor shouldn't have blamed you at all!
How come you left your lecture? what did u do that was bad?
Hope you're ok
Stay safe!

_Mariana_ · 13-10-2009, 03:14 PM

how did it go? they won't have been mad at you surely? just concerned. hope you're feeling ok after going x

Whichyway · 14-10-2009, 06:15 PM

the appointment didnt go too badly, i was really trancy though and couldnt talk and say the things i wanted to say :( i keep leaving lectures at the minute, i just cant concentrate and keep slipping into bad trances, i hate it, i wish i could just get on with my life and study normally like all the rest of my friends. It makes me feel like such a failure having to walk out but if i sit there it just gets worse over time and i totally self destruct by the end, the distractions i use don't work in lectures coz i cant do them there. thanks for the support guys,, it means a lot, i just feel like im falling quite fast this time. xxx

ProzacSmile · 18-10-2009, 07:46 PM

i love u baby girl.. i know we've both been feeling pretty **** recently but im so glad ive got u to help me to hold on. u were so brave going to the doctors and they're stupid to say it was your fault because it wasnt. if they wanted u to go to weekly appointments that badly they would have done something about it. i love u so much xxxx