Triggering (SI) - Help - I don't know which is best..

erewhon · 06-06-2009, 09:13 AM

I'm so confused right now, yesterday I got some new blades (I havn't cut in over 6months) but I was so depressed and I told my bf because he knew about my SI and he's been a great help. It's just what he said 'oh I thought you were over that' which really upset me. I've been having urges to cut recently and I'm not sure if it's better to not tell him and just do it and then I would be really sad when I talk to him or if it's better to just talk to him about it and risk him leaving me for being too sad. Help please? I'm finding these urges really hard.

BeautifulMess · 06-06-2009, 09:23 AM

The most important thing for you is not to cut, because after 6 months going back to Day Zero would feel terrible. You don't have to talk to your bf if you think it's going to be uncomfortable and you're unwilling to put that pressure on him, though it may be good i you just told him that you're finding things a bit tough at the moment. Is there anyone else you can talk to? Anyone you can trust to discuss this with? It's very important that you don't just close up and keep all this inside you. Talking should help release some of the urges and the internal pressure.

You're doing so well though, six months is an incredible achievement, don't give up now.

I know you can get through this,

Pm anytime,

Naomi

xx

erewhon · 06-06-2009, 09:36 AM

I havn't really told anyone else about my SI so I can't tell anyone else. I just can't help but think that it's better for both of us if I just don't tell him and just cut and everything will be ok

bunsy · 06-06-2009, 09:43 AM

its best that he knows, he would honestly prefer it that way because when they dont know they feel helpless. What he said wasn't meant in a bad way, he didnt mean it grudgingly - he was probably more surprised because he knows you have done so well and does not want you to break your 6 months.

he wouldnt want you to sneak behind his back, you need to confide in him because that will make him feel better knowing that you can turn to him. (if that makes sense) if you can stick it, dont do any at all it will make you feel better in the long run, one quickly turns into 100 trust me i know.

congrats on the acheivement dont give up now

you can do it
all my love
life is music,play it louder
bunsy x x

BeautifulMess · 06-06-2009, 10:11 AM

It's really not better to cut. Explain how you feel, help him to understand. You can get through this, don't give up after so long.

Stay strong,

Naomi

xx

Mocha Happiness · 06-06-2009, 03:19 PM

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time right now.
At the very least, tell him that the comment upset you.
He probably didn't mean to undermine your pain. If you say nothing, you risk him doing it again.
Also, while I understand that this is hard for you, I hope you can fight this urge. It's not worth it to lose those months of progress over this. Hide those blades. Put them in a box under a pile of stuff in a closet that no one ever goes in, wrapped in tape, whatever.
You can get through this. We believe in you.
If he's been there for you throughout this, it doesn't seem realistic that he'd leave you now. He would want you to be honest with him. You owe that to him and to yourself.
Feel free to PM me. I truly hope things work out for you.

Katiee · 06-06-2009, 09:13 PM

Well done on 6 months, sweetie! (:
Maybe you could talk to your boyfriend and explain to help him be more understanding? Do you have anyone else you could talk to apart from your boyfriend who could help/support you during this difficult time? Please try not to cut, keep distracting yourself. Hope you're alright. Take care. xo.