amazing

Ballerina123 · 02-01-2016, 03:16 PM

how do you tell the difference between a
so ive been getting some early warning signs of a high mood but im sleeping fine. like 8-9 hours a night.
is this normal?
has anyone else had this?

Like im full of energy in the day and have that shaky feeling where I have too much energy and cant calm down. I feel really happy and amazing. I have a belief that I can do anything in the world. Im struggling to not act over excitable in front of people. my mood diary show mild to moderate elevation in mood. this has been going on for about 4 days.

but could it be a sign if im sleeping ok?
I do take something for sleep (quietapine and premethrizine).

like should I worry if im sleeping ok?

Steel Maiden · 02-01-2016, 07:42 PM

Yes I think you should worry. Inform your psychiatrist asap.

Ballerina123 · 04-01-2016, 12:33 AM

My purpose is to carry an amazing message to you all.
I hear the message more now. God is speaking to me.
I can tell the future. I need to nurture my talent.
I'm more powerful than you could ever understand and more connected than you will ever know.

The gods tell me there are some amazing things in store for you guys.

Lights and colours are the best they have ever looked. I wish you boulders see the beauty through my eyes.

Everything is amazing and I'm not high I'm gifted.

My brain feels like it will explode with happiness and love.

How do I keep control of my powers? Who else can talk to god?

Auror. · 04-01-2016, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steel Maiden

Yes I think you should worry. Inform your psychiatrist asap.

Ballerina123 · 04-01-2016, 10:38 AM

What would a psychiatrist do?

I feel amazing I don't want them to medicate this all away.

Arienette · 04-01-2016, 01:51 PM

They can help manage it with you. Because a mood like this can get dangerous and I think you know that. X

Ballerina123 · 04-01-2016, 07:52 PM

The place where I lived called the mental health team today then my cc called me and told me I have to see the psych on Friday.

But I'm really considering asking you come off meds.

I'm just not keen on them I still get depressed on them so what's the point being on them. I don't sleep on them.

Anyway I don't wanna see my psych but I have to because people are concerned and I don't agree they should be that concerned. But anyway I'll comply.

I spoke to my Sponcer ( I'm in narcotics anonymous) and she said it's really common to have mood swings in early recovery. But she did say talk to my psych so I will. But she said there was nothing wrong with being spiritual .

Pomegranate · 04-01-2016, 11:11 PM

Have you looked over past threads you've made about similar issues in the past? And other threads you made after? It might be helpful.

Ballerina123 · 05-01-2016, 01:51 AM

Thanks I'll do that

I've done a lot of thinking and talking today (mainly because I can't stop) and I got a lot of conflicting but good advice.

Like I know there is something not right because I made this thread but I'm just not sure what it is. Like is it a high or a spiritual awakening or something else? I don't know. I just know it's not normal to not sleep and feel like you can't stop talking or so still. It's annoying even though it feels good.

I should really stay on meds. It may not seem to be helping but I could be worse off if I rush my recovery and try to come off them.
But I do know I don't want meds added.

I feel energised and irritable and happy, really happy.
It still feel like my brain will explode with excitement and love and happiness.
I'm not sleeping. Yet. But I am resting (or trying to)

I think I need to exercise more and do more meditation.

My mind is racing.

I just don't want this feeling to go away.
I love having this connection to god. It feels so freeing

Ballerina123 · 06-01-2016, 05:20 PM

They are making me see the psychiatrist. Like blackmailing me into it. Saying I'll only get my meds refilled if I turn up to the appointment. I doubt they would leave me without meds though.
So I'm not gonna go.
My cc said my psych wants to change my meds AGAIN!
It's my body. Stop messing around with the chemicals.
That's it Friday morning my phone is going on silent. I'm not taking any calls.
I've told my cc I don't wanna go.
She said I'm managing well so I don't see the point.

I'm in a good mood. There is nothing wrong with that. Stop trying to medicate every f***ing mood. I'm normal. I'm fine!
Wish they would leave me alone.

Auror. · 06-01-2016, 08:01 PM

Surely the best way to prove that there is nothing wrong with you and to get them to leave you alone is to turn up to the appointment. Not turning up and not responding is going to leave them concerned, and make them less likely to leave you alone. Especially if it means that it would leave you without meds at all.

If you don't want your meds changed, you have the right to say that when you go.

Fire Fly · 06-01-2016, 08:57 PM

I second what the a over poster has said.

Not turning up shows lack of insight to your condition especially when your hostel staff are concerned with your mood as well. If it's only a good mood they won't medicate you but your psych said eh was concerned you were on two antipsychotics so surely it's worth going to get tapered of one and maximise the potential of the chosen one.

They want to help not hinder your recovery.

Ballerina123 · 07-01-2016, 01:08 PM

Ive slept on my anger and I feel a lot better this morning.
Im happy this morning and I know I have to go to the appointment even if I don't like the idea of it.

Im a lot calmer today (after a bath, yoga and meditaion) so ill keep doing those things to stay calm and collected.

I honestly do think im ok.
well I am now. maybe I had a bit of a hyper time the start of the week but im so much calmer now.

I still believe my higher power is working his magic and my will will be done. his will will be done.
I feel him with me all the time and I hear what he says to me.
but that is a spiritual thing not a mental health thing.

anyway ive calmed down a lot. thank god.

Ballerina123 · 08-01-2016, 12:53 PM

I saw my psychiatrist today and honestly I feel a bit annoyed.

I barely spoke about anything but how good and stable I feel and his conclusion was that I was psychotic and need at least 300 mg of quietapine tonnage my symptoms.

I think I'm annoyed because I'm spiritual and have a higher power who I talk to and he told me that was illness and not a real thing. Who his he to say what I believe in?

But yea he's gonna sort meds out on Monday. I'm stay in the 2 anti psychotics for now.

I honestly don't believe it's psychosis. I think he is just on the atheist waggon and vet closed minded.

I feel so well today and to be told I'm unwell makes me angry. It's like no one believes anything you say once you've had psychosis.
I've not been psychotic since on meds. It's just ridiculous.

Anyway I'll just keep believing in what gives me comfort and not mention it to him anymore. Even though I don't see why I should be quite I will be so I don't end up on a massive dose of meds just so he can feel powerful.

Serendipity. · 08-01-2016, 02:35 PM

I'm sorry you didn't feel understood by your psychiatrist.

Do you think that it's possible to be spiritual but at the same time have spiritual / religious experiences that could be a sign of being unwell? I can very much relate to the difficulty of trying to untangle that, though in a different way.

I think it's important that you do keep talking to your team about these things. Other than your psych, do you have any professionals involved who you feel are more understanding? I wonder if, when you see your psych again, you could let him know how you felt about his comments and ask him to clarify. Generally, people will understand that it's possible for people to be spiritual without being unwell, even if it isn't something they personally believe in. So I wonder if it might be helpful to clarify with him where he thinks the line is and why in your case he thinks it's a symptom of psychosis.

Take care of yourself.

Ballerina123 · 08-01-2016, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Serendipity.

I'm sorry you didn't feel understood by your psychiatrist.

Do you think that it's possible to be spiritual but at the same time have spiritual / religious experiences that could be a sign of being unwell? I can very much relate to the difficulty of trying to untangle that, though in a different way.

I think it's important that you do keep talking to your team about these things. Other than your psych, do you have any professionals involved who you feel are more understanding? I wonder if, when you see your psych again, you could let him know how you felt about his comments and ask him to clarify. Generally, people will understand that it's possible for people to be spiritual without being unwell, even if it isn't something they personally believe in. So I wonder if it might be helpful to clarify with him where he thinks the line is and why in your case he thinks it's a symptom of psychosis.

Take care of yourself.

That's interesting thanks

I guess I don't know where the line between spirituality and illness is?
Do you? Does anyone?

I'm not distressed by my beliefs and I'm not harming myself or anyone else so I can't see the problem really?

It's not like I'm having delusions.

I could maybe talk to my cc about it. She might be OK but she is usually lead by the Dr to be honest.

I could maybe talk to someone else spiritual like the pastor at my hostel

tiptoes · 08-01-2016, 06:02 PM

Speaking to the pastor sounds like a good idea.

Do you have any friends or family members that are religious? Do they have similar experiences to you?

From a casual observer, this does sound similar to previous times when you have later realised that what you were experiencing was due to your illness rather than spirituality. This time round it could well be your spirituality but it is displaying some hallmarks for illness coming through too. Maybe you could discuss with your CC how you view your spirituality when you are stable and when you are unwell to see what are the red flags for you.

Ballerina123 · 09-01-2016, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiptoes

Speaking to the pastor sounds like a good idea.

Do you have any friends or family members that are religious? Do they have similar experiences to you?

From a casual observer, this does sound similar to previous times when you have later realised that what you were experiencing was due to your illness rather than spirituality. This time round it could well be your spirituality but it is displaying some hallmarks for illness coming through too. Maybe you could discuss with your CC how you view your spirituality when you are stable and when you are unwell to see what are the red flags for you.

Can I ask what hallmarks?
I'm a bit confused about all of this.
I don't know where I stand. What is real? Everything I experience feels real but people keep saying it's not or part of it aren't.
I feel confused.
I don't wanna get ill again.

Ballerina123 · 12-01-2016, 11:50 PM

I spoke to some people in my fellowship today and expressed how I was feeling and said I get messages from God and I'm very in touch with my higher power. There were a few who said they also experience that and they have years of recovery behind them.
The said that it's a spiritual blessing not a psychosis as far as they were aware.

This was my feeling too so I'm gonna stick with believing it natural and normal to have a spiritual awakening when you enter recovery for drug misuse and your working a spiritual programme.

I want my psychiatrist to understand but maybe he can't. I'll explain that I'm not hurting myself or anyone else and I feel well. Hopefully he will understand or be open minded about it.

I'm glad I finally spoke to others who experience the same thing and they are not psychotic x

Serendipity. · 13-01-2016, 12:11 AM

Closing at OP's request.

Hope you're doing okay. Remember RYL is here for support if you need it.