I am talking something more regular like 4 groups a weeks. one in the morning midday night and night night (diffrent timezones so that what is would seem like to others) where there is a group therpy type set up where everyone shares a story then people offer adive then you move on to someone else in the group
Idk and can youpost a link to that themechat site?
Just ignore me... wait you already do!
I was Lei'd live in vets!
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Personally I really dislike the idea of a "group therapy" kind of thing, isn't that what threads are for, to get advice on problems. And I think something like that would be too organised, half the fun of chat is its spontaneity. Having a set up like that would be very rigid and to be perfectly honest I think it would encourage people to moan and pontificate about what a terrible life they have.
I can see where you are coming from with this idea....but I don't think it's really suitable for RYL.
I remember when I was new....I only ventured into chat, which is a great place to meet new people and start feeling comfortable. Only till a few months after I had joined did I get the guts to post on the forums. And the introduction board is a great place to start and feel welcomed, which makes you, in my experience, a bit more comfortable.
You have to venture into these groups...and just go for it. Scary aspect yeah, but you get to know people, and you won't feel so excluded.
The small groups thing would just make it more clicky, and with the amount of members on this site...Imagine all the groups you'd need to have with a max of 20 per group !
[my 2 cents]
'Coincidence...it's what the Universe does for...fun.'
The Doctor
I just want to add something from my perspective and experience [I've done some psychotherapy training and been in group therapy type groups] - lots of intense feelings can come up in small groups, especially where the goal is therapeutic/recovery etc focused. A good, healthy group, for it to work, also needs a trained faciliator to help guide members through the difficult feelings that come up [usually connected with relationships.] This is true both in real life, and on the internet - in fact even more so, without seeing people's facial expressions and body language.
So, I would be very concerned about setting up any groups like that, without trained facilitators. It could really make things more difficult.
Hi Jayda, SallyMay and others who are for this idea, I'm Aimee and I'm one of the moderators here :)
I do understand very much what you mean about posting here when you first arrive and how scary and intimidating it can be, I felt very much the same when I first arrived and this is something we are currently looking at for those who join in the future and ways to improve that and make it easier and less of a scary thing to do.
As the others have pointed out and shown you we do have a lot of 'room' threads for members on most boards to be able to talk to each other in a conversation type manner, they all have different 'themes' and all run differently but none exclude which is the most important idea. You might notice the 'Squishy Squad' have symbols in their signatures and avatars but anyone can join and that is really important.
In the forums this idea would just not work, we already get complaints at the number of these types of threads and anymore is just going to clutter up the forums. Keeping out people out of threads is just not the way things work here, it goes against everything we work for.
Chat, now im not a chat mod but I recommend you take a look here as to peoples ideas and see if that is anything like you are thinking. Group therapy is not going to work I don't think as we have no one qualified but they do have some interesting ideas so take a peek and let us know what you think :)
I'm not worried, it was just a suggestion. Posting gave an opportunity to see other sides to it, which is great. After hearing the other side of it, I completely understand why it wouldn't be a good idea. I hadn't been able to see that side before. As I said earlier, it was only an idea we had, and we just wanted to get other viewpoints. And I do think the majority is right, it would do more harm than good. But hey, you never know if you don't ask.
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I just want to add something from my perspective and experience [I've done some psychotherapy training and been in group therapy type groups] - lots of intense feelings can come up in small groups, especially where the goal is therapeutic/recovery etc focused. A good, healthy group, for it to work, also needs a trained faciliator to help guide members through the difficult feelings that come up [usually connected with relationships.] This is true both in real life, and on the internet - in fact even more so, without seeing people's facial expressions and body language.
So, I would be very concerned about setting up any groups like that, without trained facilitators. It could really make things more difficult.
That's what I was gonna say when I started seeing so many group therapy references
Emily
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The only thing that is bugging me about this thread and everyone who has disagreed they have all just been negitive towards the idea. There can be ways of working threw it all but suggestion to make the idea better could go along way instead you all are just nope bad idea nope horriable cant do it because of this and this and this... And you want people to feel ok with posting ideas? ha! I am glade it wasnt me who posted this... I would be even more pist then I am now!
Just ignore me... wait you already do!
I was Lei'd live in vets!
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That's because the positives( if there are any) heavily outweight the negatives. Our reasons are unlogical if you'd just try to see why we're pointing out the faults with the idea.
We're not disagreeing with this on a whim.
ok so i missed your post. I am sorry. But i have charged my view. if you notice I was all for the first idea I was one who help come up with the idea I have changed it threw the post. I even said them be open to everyone and set times but whatever.
Just ignore me... wait you already do!
I was Lei'd live in vets!
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The only thing that is bugging me about this thread and everyone who has disagreed they have all just been negitive towards the idea. There can be ways of working threw it all but suggestion to make the idea better could go along way instead you all are just nope bad idea nope horriable cant do it because of this and this and this... And you want people to feel ok with posting ideas? ha! I am glade it wasnt me who posted this... I would be even more pist then I am now!
If you've got any tips on how to disagree in a positive way I'd love to hear them. I don't think anyone was rude about it, they just didn't like the idea. The point of discussing possible changes/additions to RYL here (rather than just emailing them to Harley or something) is to give people a chance to express opinions and thoughts about the issue, which includes reasons not to implement it.
I of course can't speak for anyone else, but personally the reason I didn't post any suggestions for how to implement this is that I object to what I see as the fundamental idea behind it - namely, encouraging people to form small (and potentially insulated) groups of friends on RYL. And it's something I feel strongly enough about that I wanted to speak up. I feel it's important for people to speak up about suggestions they don't like as well as those they do, because otherwise we'd end up with what looks like a very positive response to suggestions that are actually unpopular.
Sorry if my posts offended anyone - that definitely wasn't the intent.
Emily
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I think I dont care anymore. I think there are better ways of going about it then just knocking ideas down respect or not. constructive is the key say i dont like this idea because maybe if you can change this or work on the idea more... istrad of just shooting them all down! oh well
Just ignore me... wait you already do!
I was Lei'd live in vets!
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Just because someone doesn't like an idea it doesn't mean that they don't like the people who support the idea or suggested it. One of the most important features of RYL is the ability for us to have an open discussion about RYL without it becoming "personal" where people say "I don't like X so I don't like X's idea". I have almost never seen that happen on RYL and I certainly don't think anything like that is happening in this case.
The idea, based off of something that works well in real life (group therapy) can't be adapted to work on RYL.
If people can come up with ideas of how to adapt the idea to RYL they will post them, but so far I personally see no way for it to work and be safe and beneficial to RYL.
It's not that we are trying to be negative and just "bash" the idea, I honestly don't think there are really any suggestions that will work and other people also recognize that.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
SallyMay - Crazy Rabbit Lady has posted a constructive thread about having people meet up in chat to discuss a specific things. It's also posted in Forum and Community Questions, so there is some constructive discussion going on.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
I have heard of online group therapy but the people involved have always been specifically assigned to a group by a mental health professional, and the groups have always been run by a certified counselor or therapist.
Because of that I can't see RYL being able to do that because RYL is not in the position to have certified counselors/therapists on staff, and since we have many people in different countries we start running into a lot of legal issues.
RYL can't do everything, sometimes it may be necesary for people to get support from more that one place. Getting therapy from a certified counselor/therapist and then using RYL as an adjunct.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
I think there are better ways of going about it then just knocking ideas down respect or not. constructive is the key say i dont like this idea because maybe if you can change this or work on the idea more... istrad of just shooting them all down!
I don't think my last post was as clear as it could have been, but what I was trying to say is that there I didn't (and don't) feel that I could or would want to suggest ways implement something that I consider counterproductive. If I liked the idea of organizing small groups, but saw a problem with the details of implementing it, I'd suggest ways to avoid that problem. But that's not what's going on here. I simply don't like the idea of intentionally creating small groups on RYL, no matter how it's implemented. I feel that I've explained my reasons for that already (but feel free to tell me if that's not the case), and I'd be happy to reconsider if you (or anyone else) have any suggestions for how to change the original plan to address those concerns, or even an explanation of why it wouldn't be a problem, but personally I don't see any way to avoid my concerns with the idea, so I didn't post any. It's not a question of respect - there are lots of ideas that I respect but still don't agree with.
Honestly, if you want to win people over, it would be a lot more productive to address the concerns people have expressed, rather than trying to guilt people into expressing support for a proposal they don't agree with.
Emily
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