I'm pretty much ok now, so I wanted to delete this because the person it concerned has an account here and I would feel bad if he happened to read it and get upset.
I am truly grateful to those of you who took the time to read it and offer your support. Thank you. <3
Last edited by Katan : 21-10-2009 at 09:58 AM.
Reason: as above
God is the only one who sees me as beautiful now, and the eyes of God are the only eyes I care about...
*hugs*
Sweetie, I just went through a hard break up, too.
I was basically his toy when he wanted me to be.
He was also my first boyfriend and my first love.
It hurts, but you can do so much better.
*hugs again*
I'm sorry guys are such jerks, hun.
Take care of yourself. x
I cant give any advice or anything....but *huge hugs and lots of love*
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
Thank you so much <3
I actually feel a little bit better now.
I spent most of the evening talking to a friend, and she said that it was mean-spirited of him to put that information somewhere that he knew I would see it, and she said that I'm a nice person who shouldn't be concerning myself with someone who can be so mean. That he's not who I thought he was (which I suppose is true), and that there are plenty of people out there who will treat me with the respect I deserve if I let them. And… yeah, she basically just listened and was nice to me.
I also feel better because before I saw that, I was feeling guilty for breaking up with him (because I had said that I wouldn’t, and I take my word very seriously) and I was also missing him a bit, but now I’m… not. At all.
I’m still a little bit scared of making the same mistakes again, but I guess all I can do is try to learn from this and to be more careful… I’m not in any hurry to rush into anything again, anyway.
Also, I generally don’t talk about these kind of things because I usually think people are going to think I’m crazy (because I’ve been called that in the past and, to be honest, I am a little bit crazy, but not in a really bad way) but then I wonder why I feel so lonely a lot of the time (even though I have some very lovely friends -obviously) so I guess I need to work on that, too… This is my strange little life, and I’m allowed to talk about what’s really going on just like everyone else is… I am very grateful that I have a place like this (RYL) where I feel safe enough to do that.
God is the only one who sees me as beautiful now, and the eyes of God are the only eyes I care about...
well it seems you had a lucky escape. try to stay away from his blogs etc , it will only make you think about him and what he is doing. men can be right assholes hun...you learn from the mistakes xxx
*hugs* I think you had a luvky escape really and you are so much better than him. I agree, dont read his blogs etc.. have a clean break and put it down to experience..any guy would be lucky to have you!
Differences...are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open. GOF
Albus Dumbledore
I have no intentions of reading his blogs again, or in any way seeking him out. After I read it (before I posted that whole big rant) I blocked him from reaching me by my cell phone, and emailed him a "don't contact me again" (if I had been thinking clearly I probably wouldn't have contacted him to say that.) So now I have a good 4 pages of replies from him and I have no idea what (if anything) I should be saying in reply. I don't know if there's anything I want to say. I'm so tired of the dramas. I think I just need some me time and some peace.
God is the only one who sees me as beautiful now, and the eyes of God are the only eyes I care about...
*hugs* you're right you need to stay away from him. if he cared about you at all he wouldn't have done that. it's not unusual at all to get used your first time, as you don't know what to look out for. but like you said, you'll learn from this and be stronger for it. feel free to pm me if you need to talk.
Thank you, that was very kind of you to make that offer. *hugs* Damn the stories and movies for making everyone's first love look like it's meant to be a walk in the park ._.;;
I ended up googling "how to get over someone." And I read everything that looked promising; some of it was a bit 'meh', but I did come across some things that seem to have helped.
I think the main reason I got so upset was that I spent so long wishing he could be proud of me, that he would think something like, "hey, I've got this wonderful person who likes me, I'm so fortunate and I want everyone to know it" -and why not? That was how I felt about him. But he didn't want to 'show me off', and I thought maybe it was his issue or maybe there was something wrong with me... and then seeing him doing that for someone else really hit a sore spot. But I just have to keep reminding myself that it's not because of me, I'm not a bad person, I did the best I could and I hung in there as long as I could trying to do the right thing... and I think even the fact that I care enough to feel disappointed is a good thing because it sort of implies that I like myself, and that I must believe I am someone worth 'showing off' (...even though I don't much like the way I phrased that x_x; ) But that's learning, right? I don't have to put up with something like that again.
God is the only one who sees me as beautiful now, and the eyes of God are the only eyes I care about...
that was such a nice thing to say. 