The last time that I SH'd it was the worst I had ever done it, and although it hurt for a second while I did it, afterwards I felt nothing. Nothing. I am so overwhelmed and idk what to do or who to talk to. I've pulled myself out of these kinds of ruts before, but this time I just don't have the strength (not suicidal). I thought about talking to someone, but what would I say? Idk how to get out of this. I'm scared and apathetic at the same time. And I want someone to care but I want everyone to leave me alone. Things aren't right. I've been pretending for so long and doing what I can with what I have, but they'll never be right. I don't want this to be a monster that takes over me, but I see it happening already. I'm sorry for vague ramblings, I just don't know what to do anymore. :/
"So take heart, His love leads us through the night." <3
If you don't mind me asking, has something happened to make you get this bad again? I think it's great that you've thought about speaking to someone about this and I really do believe that you should do that. If you do decide to talk to someone then all you'd have to say is everything you've written in this post or you could just say that you have been having a rough time lately and you just want someone there.
Hello. There yas been so much going on lately and I've been so overwhelmed. I don't even know how to put it all in words. I just know I'm in a dark place and I don't know how to ask for help and I'm afraid no one will even be able to help. I always feel like my circumstances don't warrant SH and am afraid that people will say I should just get over it. Idk if that makes any sense.
"So take heart, His love leads us through the night." <3
It does make sense and it's understandable to have those fears, but most of the time people do understand or they at least try to. You'll also never know if anyone can help you unless you open up to them and let them try. I don't know if you are ready to take this step or if you would even want to do it this way, but you could try and write everything down (how you're feeling, what you think has been causing it, your harming, ect.) and eventually give it to someone you trust.
If you don't mind me asking, has something happened to make you get this bad again? I think it's great that you've thought about speaking to someone about this and I really do believe that you should do that. If you do decide to talk to someone then all you'd have to say is everything you've written in this post or you could just say that you have been having a rough time lately and you just want someone there.
^
This. About "warranting SH" you're feelings and pain matter just as much as anyone else's. The fact you're hurting so bad you're hurting yourself is the issue to be dealt with, as well as finding healthier coping mechanisms.
You'd be surprised by how many people do understand because there are a lot of people out there who has been through similar or they know people who have been through this, but the only real way to know if they will or not is to give them a chance to. Also, it can take a lot of time to be able to say everything because you may not be comfortable with telling them everything that has been going on all at once. You just have to be willing to be willing to work hard for a long period of time since recovery can take months or even years, but it is definitely worth the wait.
