I'm feeling anxious about a bunch of things this weekend. I do have some coping strategies planned which will hopefully help. But even so, Tuesday night cannot come soon enough for me.
So, I would really appreciate some kind words and encouragement to help me through, especially when I wobble. Please. Thank you. :)
I am struggling with this too, the next four days kind of loom ahead of me.
Keeping busy is good for me, I usually try and do some drawing or writing, or do some knitting. I try to schedule my day a bit so I don't end up just watching telly for hours or something, though some DVDs may help.
Getting out for a little bit is good. I have quite a lot of agoraphobia so I struggle in crowded spaces or even just out doors so I have to work at making myself go out, but generally I feel better once I have. I try to go out for a walk at least once a day. Another nice thing I sometimes do is go to a cafe with a book and get myself a drink and read there for a few hours. I used to feel really exposed doing this but lately it's been helping, as it makes me feel less alone. Plus a hot choc from a cafe is a big treat for me!
I'm sorry you're feeling so low and nervous about this weekend. I'm sure you can do it though, and please remember you're not the only one who'll find this difficult.
I'm sorry that you're feeling like this. I understand as I am struggling with this too. My advice is to try to keep busy, and doing things that you enjoy.
I don't have a lot of words, but if you need anything I am here to talk. You can make it through this. It will be over before we know.
Thank you both, so much. Those are some great ideas.
It's mostly Monday and Tuesday I'm worrying about. Particularly Monday, due to the celebration stuff. I have an idea of some places to visit that are 'safe' for me. But getting there and back from them worry me. I will just have to trust and do my best. No one will want to hurt me, will they? - that's how part of me feels. The whole thing highlights how I have alienated myself from my community, and not totally intentionally either, but because of my illness and how it can be at times.
That's another day nearly through. Thankfully. And yay for a very soothing Gayatri Mantra etc on my iPod. But Monday scares me the most. I wish I had someone who could come and be with me. But I am to blame for having no one. And so I feel angry and sad. And very alone. I just have to bear with those feelings. I can do that more now. But I keep spacing out. And I feel so very tired.
I feel the same way about the long weekend. Can you do your best to just focus on a hour/a few hours at a time? You sound like you have a lot of great skills that you can use.
I'm so sorry you feel so alone. I feel very alone a lot of the time too and it's a painful and difficult feeling. It's so frustrating when you feel like being less alone would help your mental health problems, but it's those same problems that stop you from reaching out to people.
Being alone is NOT your fault, honestly--if you've struggled to make friends due to illness and anxiety, that isn't your fault at all. These things clip our wings and stop us from getting out much, but that's not our fault, that's a symptom of the problem. I'm sorry you feel so isolated.
It's unlikely that anyone will want to hurt you tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure you will be safe coming back from anywhere. I find it difficult to be out when there are going to be crowds--there was an unexpected festival in a park I walk through today, and it freaked me right out--but while it may be scary I'm sure no one will want to hurt you.
I'm sorry you feel panicked. Having strong feelings is exhausted, so it's no wonder you're tired and spaced out. Try to do soothing things if you can--I like knitting and drawing, but I'm sure you have your own strategies.
Thank you so much, foxfly, for your understanding and kind words.
It's mostly tomorrow I'm worried about, and once that is over I will feel quite a bit relieved. I will need to communicate with who I can in the ways I can, via text or online.
I'm sorry it's been so hard, Stellata. Would talking about why you feel so on edge help at all?
Taking a zopiclone sounds like a good idea--it's good to have some rest. Do you think you'll feel any better tomorrow? Maybe you could reward yourself in some way for getting through today?
Thank you. :)
I did take a zopiclone last night, as I felt far to transparent and small and jittery. It was in case of noise/not feeling safe due to that, scared what people might do. It still took me a while to get off to sleep with the zopiclone, but then I managed in the end, using some of my relaxing music to help.
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
I'm back at work now, so it's a bit better. And although I'm off work today, I have a full on busy day out and about.
Thanks. :)
I actually slept quite a bit better last night, which helps.
