I cut myself yesterday. I can't tell anyone because they will want to stop me doing it again - I'm an adult but I live with my parents. I thought it was enough but already the thoughts are coming back. I feel so alone.
The point of this post:
Not to feel lonely.
Is it unfair to unload this on the one friend I know won't pass it on, when I don't even know what I would want from him?
Last edited by tamobhuuta : 14-08-2023 at 05:30 PM.
Reason: Add a bit
Any reasonable person would want anyone to stop. Telling people is terrifying for many reasons and that is more than understandable. Maybe try focusing on why you did it or why you had the need to SI instead of that you did do it? And to find out what was the cause and how to put in steps of prevention from there.
The thoughts are haunting. Thoughts aren't necessarily bad, but I suppose they can become overwhelming and influence your decisions/actions. Maybe you could write those thoughts down if they do get overwhelming? Unless you already do something similar.
It's understandable that you don't want to unload it on him. You don't necessarily have to have a need, want, or reason. Maybe just talk to him and bring up that you haven't been doing well with no details included if you don't want to unload on him or burden him, whatever it may be? Just so that someone who can be there for you knows somewhat how you're doing. If that doesn't sound viable and if you need someone anonymous to talk to, theres hotlines you can use, both call and text ones. If you think it may help, I can share it with you.
In the end, take care of yourself as best as you can for now. Don't beat yourself up over it, although me saying that doesn't change anything. You have a whole lifetime to get better at anything for that matter. Getting better or making progress doesn't happen over night. It's like waves in the ocean, you'll dip but eventually you'll come back up. But the fact is, even if you make progress by 0.5%, that's better than 0%, and building that up will take time (unfortunately). Of course you'll have to put in the effort and all that fun stuff, but there's a way if there's a will. Even you getting on RYL and talking about it is good. Nothing will last forever and whatever you're feeling will subside over time, even if it feels like an eternity. Live life one day at a time or else it'll get overwhelming.
I hope any of this made sense, but again, take care
I was overwhelmed by my head and nothing else was helping. I'm trying not to believe in the Organisation (no I don't want to talk about the Organisation. Not now at least)
I'm sorry because I'm unsure of what that is...You don't have to talk about it. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to.
I get it, though. Sometimes you can't think about doing anything to distract or prevent yourself which makes everything seem meaningless. Nonetheless, there has to be a way that works for you.
When you say you were overwhelmed by your head, the only thing that comes to mind right away is music. Maybe other sensory things could work..? Or something to distract you somehow, but that's easier said than done. What can you do to calm yourself?
Auror - things I do to cope
Cuddle soft toys or people
Listen to music
Pray
Read or listen to audiobooks
Mindfulness
Chocolate
Cup of tea
Spend time with family
Tidying
TV
Wordsearches
Using my therapy skills
PRN
Want to check in and see how things are going a couple of days later?
Do you still feel like cuttin or have the urges subsided?
That looks like a great list of coping mechanisms. Next time you get the urge can you try to do at least 3 of the things on the list and wait to see if the urges passes?
It's hard keep SH secret and I hope telling us helps. I am pretty sure we have all been there and I hope that makes you feel a tiny bit less alone.
I haven't self harmed again so that's good. The urges come and go whereas at the end of last week they were just there all the time. I always try other ways first. When I cut on Sunday I felt like I earned it because I'd used all my coping skills first! Having people reply here helps. I'm going to take this to Confession on Friday, even though I'm not sure how sorry I am. Confession often helps me put things in perspective.
I've got a blood test on Monday at the CMHT. Do you think they'll do anything if they see the marks?
Is your support worker supposed to pass things on to your parents? My one from the CMHT would only pass things on to my CPN. If you can explain things and that you feel like you are safe then I think that would be ok but of course I don't know the 'rules' you have with your support worker. I hope you get on ok.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
hopefully if you explain that you want to be open about things, that you self harmed x amount of time ago, and haven't done it again and don't feel like you will again and don't feel unsafe, then that seems pretty reasonable. if it's already happened and not currently occurring it doesn't sound like there would be reason to tell your parents.
that said, would it be worth telling your parents anyways? just so you don't have to feel like you have something to hide?
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I didn't tell my sw this morning but that made me realise I did want to so I rang her this afternoon. She was great. We talked it through and she said if I'm tempted to again this week then to call her.
Well done for calling and glad you got a positive response.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
