Owh Jenna. *squish* What's making you feel like you've made a mistake? Do you think that's definitely the case or could some of it be nerves?
If I want to move out and get on with my life then it needs to be full time really.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
I think it's probably a bit of nerves. I'm worried I will be sad here and am getting in a stress about leaving my friends. I'm sure they will visit and I'll see them when I'm visiting London but it won't be the same and I'm going to be all alone just like before and it's making me feel sad. My mum is chatting on about the houses we're viewing tomorrow and I'm trying hard to be excited. Agh. Silly ramble, sorry.
How's your evening? I know you have a big commute to work at the moment- maybe if you moved out you'd move somewhere near to whatever job you got and that would maybe make work seem less stressful?
Have some *hugs* I think all of that is completely normal and understandable to be worried about. And it's totally okay to be feeling like that. I don't think that it means you've made a mistake though. Like you said, your friends will come and visit, and you can visit them. And it's an opportunity to make new ones too. Can you try to remind yourself of some of the positives about moving? It's okay if you don't feel positive though!
Thanks. I don't know. It's not really far, it's just the buses round here are ridiculous, so if I stay here I'm likely to have that problem anyway. Tbh the commute is irritating but not stressful. And work is manageable. I don't know if a new job would be, especially if I go back to a care-type job. I don't know. I feel like such an enormous failure.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Thanks Jenna. In terms of specific preparation I have to be very familiar with my MSc thesis as I'll need to do a short presentation on it, and I also have to remind myself of my statistics/research methods knowledge as they'll want me to demonstrate that. I need to do my homework on the university and generally think about how my experiences make me a good candidate for the panel interview. Also need to be up to date on the world of psychology. Bleh. I keep getting so overwhelmed and frightened by it and my time is so, so limited. I'm going away this weekend with a couple of friends and I will bring some stuff with me so I can prepare but I'm going to try and rest too which I think will do me more good than overdoing it!
I'm sorry you feel as though you've made a mistake; I suspect that is probably nerves talking and once things have settled you will feel more confident in your decision. Change is good and I really admire you for being so brave!
Hope the numbers work for you tomorrow Sarah!
I'm sorry things are hard, Hannah. I think you could manage a full-time job because you're so strong but the fact you work part-time now doesn't make you a failure at all. Would you speak to us in this way?
It sounds so stressful Ali, but I'm impressed by how organized you are about what you need to do, and I'm sure you'll get there :) I'm really glad you're going to try and get some rest this weekend, because you're right that it will do you good! How are you doing tonight? I hope you can get some sleep soon x
Thanks lovely. No I wouldn't speak to you in the same way but it genuinely is different. I am so frustrated with myself.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
You're not a failure at all Hannah! Do you think you'd prefer full time retail to full time care work?
Ali, I think you're absolutely right that rest is more important than overdoing it. Are you going away anywhere nice? Maybe on the journey there'll be a little bit of prep time.
Thank you both. I think the problem is that whilst I was brave (/impulsive) in making the decision, being at my new school today/yesterday brought me back to reality about how crap and non-brave I am when it comes to talking to people and I'm scared I won't make new friends at all. I'm trying not to make A Fuss but yuck. I will try to focus on the excitement of house-buying :)
I get that you feel it's different because I also think it's different when I'm nasty to myself about things but logically you don't deserve to speak to yourself that way. It's just the way our brains are wired. I hope you stop feeling so frustrated soon because I think you're doing all of the right things and you will get where you want to be - and when you get there you'll be glad for the journey :)
I don't think you're crap or non-brave though Jenna; I've always really admired you at meets because you're so good with people you've not met before and you make everyone feel comfortable so I suspect you're probably better with new faces than you think you are.
Thanks guys. We've rented a cottage in Wales (Aberbanc). I will probably do a bit of reading each evening. I will try and sleep soon but want to finish writing up notes on my thesis.
Sounds lovely Ali, and doing a bit of reading in the evenings sounds good :) You're doing so well!
Jenna, I agree with what Ali said! I can totally understand those nerves, but I also think that being in that situation would make most people feel nervous and it doesn't mean that you won't settle in and make new friends and so on. Remember that you were in the same position when you started at your current school, and look how well you've done! I have every faith that you can do this.
Thank you both <3 Jenna, I don't think I would prefer it, no. It would definitely be easier, but it isn't what I want to be doing, and it's really quite hard to get a full time job in retail anyway. I just feel so stuck. I think I'm just going to have to stop being so pathetic and go back to full time care work and hope I can handle it. Which is unlikely if past experience is anything to go by. But I don't know what else to do and I can't stay stuck forever. Sorry, I don't mean to keep whining so much.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Oh crikey, thank you, that really made me smile! I'm glad I come across like that :)
Ali, Wales sounds like fun. I hope you get your notes finished quickly tonight so you can sleep!
Hannah, I am tempting to misuse my modly powers to edit out your unreasonable criticisms of yourself :P. I can't imagine myself managing care work for like half a second, and hopefully you don't think I'm pathetic! Is adding some part time care work to your part time retail work an option instead of full time care work? Apologies if that is yet another tedious suggestion from me =/. You don't need to apologise as you are not whining.
Tut, can't believe you'd even think of abusing your powers like that :P I'm applying for bank stuff, but there isn't much really and even if I did find something I don't know how much work I'd get out of it blah blah. I can't get another part time job because my shifts change every week. I don't think I have too many options really.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Hannah, can you do something similar to what you want to do that isn't care work? I just bust up indeed and put sports development roles and just apply for everything. Even if I am not 'qualified' for the job role just cause it is something I am interested in and want my career in that..like my current job isn't exactly what I want to do with my life but it is a step in the right direction? Idk.
You aren't pathetic though, or a failure. A lot of people are a lot less resileant. You are doing so so well xxx
Ali, I hope you have a nice weekend and get to relax some.
Jenna, I agree with everyone else. I can't add to that at all. It will be ok.
I am so tired..few more hrs to go and then I can go home and sleep. Got weigh in later. Had a bad week re food so not looking forward to it but yay for sleep.
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
Yay for sleep Leigh. Hopefully weigh in will be okay, I often found I've lost a little even when I think I've had a bad week. It may be worth measuring yourself so you can see if your body is changing even if the weight isn't.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Ahh, Ali, hope your day gets better, or that you can at least get a flyer home.
How are you Hannah?
Leigh, yay for sleep and I hope weigh in is okay for you, don't be too hard on yourself.
Ducky, hope work is going okay, I would totally have gone for you. I'm on leave this week and lovely as it is, I've just got loads of jobs to do. I've spent the morning trying to learn new releases for my classes and they're all really hard and my brain isn't having it! But, I have changed my bed. I really need a shower though... baby steps...
Hope you're all having good days.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
How are you Claire! Yay for changing your bed. I hope you're doing some nice things with your time off too!
How's your day going Ali?
I'm okay thanks. Am about to eat Baileys cheesecake for lunch :P But it's okay because I'm going to the gym later. Right?!
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
Work is busy because I'm the only dispenser in. There's usually two of us all day. I feel so stressed. At lunch two hours late. Bought lunch but feel too shaky and nauseous to eat it. Ugh. Only three hours to go...
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
*hugs Ducky* I hope the rest of your day has been okay. How are you doing this evening?
I hope you're all okay x
I have been trying so hard to be okay but I'm not. I'm sorry, you must all be so sick of my whining. I'm sitting in McDonald's so I can avoid getting home before my parents leave for church. I'm pathetic. I can't do this life thing.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
