Very close to cutting

scabs · 08-02-2015, 09:16 PM

It seems a lot of people hate me/dislike me. It doesn't matter if more people like me than hate me, just knowing that people exist who don't want me around make me feel like cutting. I haven't cut in years, I don't remember the last time I did it, but I'm very close now. So I guess that environment isn't healthy for me. I've been there for ten years, but there's so much hate that maybe I should leave. I just don't know what I would do without the community. *almost crying*

Pi.R^2 · 09-02-2015, 02:00 PM

I'm not sure what sort of community you're talking about, but it sounds like you definitely need to weigh up the pros and cons of being part of it at the moment.

Is there an option of leaving temporarily and returning at a later day? That way it wouldn't feel like a permanent end to those ten years. Also, would you be able to stay in contact with the members of the community who aren't contributing to your urges to cut? That way you could get away from the bad stuff, but not lose all the aspects that are helpful.

I can really understand the feeling that no matter how many people like you, the people who dislike you still gets you really down. I know this quote is about criticism, not being disliked, but I think it still applies (and makes me feel a bit better!)- something like 'if you're not being criticised, you're probably not doing an awful lot'.

PlayD3ad · 10-02-2015, 01:28 AM

First of all, congrats on not cutting in so long thats great and i know you dont want to go right back to it which makes it so hard.
I first hand understand whats its like to be in an environment in which people dont want you around or dont like you. if leaving that environment is possible and would not put you in any harm then maybe that would be the best thing to do if things are that bad. ofcourse only if you are able and have the means. its never easy to deal with people like that and sadly there will always be people in life like that. BUT you are a strong person and you can over come. im sorry you have to deal with people like this but the best thing to do is realize that they dont make you. if they dont like you thats their fault not yours. you are who you are and if they dont like that then screw them, you dont need them and dont let them make you feel any less of a person because thats letting them win and they are wrong.
when you encounter these types of people just think of all the people that do love you and think of the things about yourself that is worth liking and loving because you are.
if you ever want or need someone to talk to i am here you can pm me anytime you want. i hope you are feeling better :)

PassedExpectations · 13-02-2015, 02:53 AM

You said that it "seems like people a lot of people dislike you"... while i'm sad that you feel that way, you've actually already said something really important... SEEMS... what we see as reality is really our perception. while it seems to you that many people dislike you, that doesn't mean that reality is that many people dislike you. You feel that they don't, and thats really a bummer, but it is a feeling, and feelings aren't factual.

Why is it so important to you that everyone like you? Do you think that it is even possible for someone to be liked by every single other person?...

scabs · 15-02-2015, 12:20 PM

I generally try to get along with people but sometimes I run into people who disagree on things I feel strongly about. I've been taking some distance from that community since my last post, and I realized I can manage without posting there. I've been pm'ing with people who are friendly towards me, and I don't really even have an urge to reply to public conversations. The last week has been more quiet than usual.

When I was upset, I scratched my forearm with scissors, but it didn't bleed much. No one noticed the scratches even though I had to wear short sleeves at work.