Triggering (SI) - Back after quite a while....

Kurea · 21-05-2009, 03:29 AM

So I'm back. Probably no one knew me anyway, haha. But lately I've been stressed and triggered. And one problem that I have is not making it better.

This guy that likes me and that I like back has expressly forbid me from hurting myself. He said that "he'd back out of this whole thing" (or something like that) if I continued to hurt myself. We're not dating (he likes another girl too and doesn't want to choose), so I feel like he's kinda cheating me there. What would he back out of? Our friendship or our potential relationship? I stress out about that, get jealous when envisioning if he chooses her over me, and get frustrated, etc etc until I get triggered. But I know that if I do SI, he'll get furious at me and I'll probably lose his friendship as a whole.

I don't know what to do. I'm chatting with him right now, just about nothing. But I'm so triggered. I don't want to say anything to him in case I get him angry or scare him away or something. Sorry this is all rambling. I just don't know what to do and I'm upset.

Lou Lou · 21-05-2009, 04:02 PM

When people say "don't cut because I'll leave you" I don't think they really mean that they are going to walk away completely. I think they are just trying to give you incentive to stop. Of course they don't realise that it can put an awful lot of pressure on you which can make things a lot harder. If he is really that important to you then tell him it is unfair of him to expect that of you, but that you appreciate what he was trying to do.

Now - as for the potential relationship thing. This may be none of my business but I honestly think you might be better off without him in your life. Like you said he is cheating you slightly in the fact that he likes another girl. It may be hard to hear but if he liked you that much he would be with you. He is messing you around, probably for the ego boost, probably to see who can "offer" him the most. The word ******** springs to mind. Sorry but guys like that make me angry.

He clearly isn't doing you any favours. The thought of him being with the other girl is triggering you, the stress isn't going to be doing you any good and I imagine this is all pretty damaging to your self esteem.
If I were you I would just walk away. You are worth more than the way he is treating you. Much more.

Katiee · 21-05-2009, 05:15 PM

I don't think it's fair that he said he would 'back away' if you carry on hurting yourself, can you explain to him you can't just 'stop'?

When you get triggered maybe you could use distractions to take your mind off what's triggering you. Please try not to stress over it. *hugs* I'm here if you need anything. xo.

Kurea · 23-05-2009, 03:19 AM

Thanks. I'm going to talk to him about it next time I get the chance. And I've just decided I'm going to try to forget that he ever told me he likes me AND her. I've been hanging with friends a lot lately which has taken my mind off of it some. Thanks, everyone. :)

24-05-2009, 01:32 PM

This must be very hard for you. He doesn't sound like he is making you happy and personally if I were you I would try and not have anything to do with him anymore because he also likes that other girl. If you feel like this guy is worth stopping your self harm for altogether this thread may be useful - http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ead.php?t=3541

Stay positive

xx

Sorry I didn't see your update, I glad you are going to talk to him about this, good luck x