Felt like I couldn't stop

[lozza]

I relapsed with sh earlier on and I just kept going and going. It was like I couldn't stop. I was just fixated on the wound I had made and kept making it bigger and bigger. I haven't felt like that in a long long time.

I'm scared it will become habit again. I'm safe but what about the next time, that next urge, the next time I give in..

I'm just scared.

[Twisted Fate]

What helped you stop self harm in the past? Relapses happen but it doesn't mean you will fall back into the habit. I would really think about what helped you in the past and see if you can use those things again. Was there something specific that triggered the relapse?

[butterfly hearts]

Just want to say I can relate. Really word to word I’ve just shared your experience recently. It’s so confusing and hard. Sorry I don’t have any advice. Just know you’re not alone.

[Eir]

Relapses happen. It’s like you always know that it’s an option. But that doesn’t mean you can’t move on from using it as a coping mechanism.
I find it useful to touch base with my support people when I slip up. It usually means my mental health needs tending- for me this is usually medication changes
I don’t usually tell then I’ve SHed - just that I’m not coping at the moment. And I have a good look at my sleep and stress patterns as well as some other signs to do with my mental health. Usually if I have SHed there is heaps of other signs that I haven’t managed to put together that show my mental health is not going great.
One slip up doesn’t mean you will do it again

[lozza]

Thank you all for your words, and Kat I'm so sorry that things haven't been great for you either.

I don't quite know what triggered me that day but I self-harmed earlier on and that one I do know. Finally getting somewhere (again) in my recovery and I'm scared shitless. I can also feel my support worker is stepping back slowly and expects me to take more control, put in my own coping strategies instead of going straight to her.. and I get it I do. But I don't feel ready for that you know?? But then I guess no one quite feels ready..

Anxiety has been through the roof and meds (PRN) doesn't seem to be helping at all when I am anxious but no one is listening to me. I could take my whole days limit and it still wouldn't stop or take an inch off the anxiety. How am I meant to communicate this to my psychiatrist. I already asked if changing usual daily meds would be a possibility and she said no, that I'm on the best cocktail and it would be too risky to change anyway.. And I get and understand that but I'm also on fluoxetine (for the 4th time now) and after a period of time it seems to stop being as helpful and I need to switch and that does help but then eventually I always end up being back on it and the helpfulness like always is short lived

I feel like a am at crisis point right now and I haven't been here in years. The only reason I'm still alive is for the 5 cats in my care (3 are mine and 2 permanent fosters.)

Oh and I messaged my support worker telling her how I am currently feeling and she just replied saying that 'it will pass' ...ummm wish it was that damn easy!!!

I'll be back in my box of unhelpful not good things if anyone is looking for me.