It started off as 2 weeks but then she got 4 weeks, & then they re applied for more & she has now got an extra month because they said her case is severe & she needs a lot longer than 4 weeks IP.
She was told that she could be going home at any point because the funders could have pulled it out at any moment due to her still engaging in ED behaviors.
I hope she has a lovely time back home :)
Shes doing really well for how long she's been in there, i'm glad they extended it :)
Sarah you've been an absolute super start sweetheart :)
I hope your OK<3
I know I should be sleeping baby, but I had to do this first.
I'm so proud of you for sticking to this, for going to hospital & working with them & talking to them & communicating, even if just a little, but most of all, I'm proud of you for resisting urges.
Even if you do slip up - baby, we all slip up, you know that, but it's okay, you can get back up again & keep trying, it's a very distressing time, it's okay to struggle & it's okay to express how you're feeling - & to express it honestly.
I believe in you.
You can do this.
You have so much strength inside you just waiting to burst out of you & kick this ED's ass.
You've got me, & you've got people here, & you've got your friends elsewhere that are more than willing to support you & help you through this.
I'll always be here for you, you know that right? I promised you I'm going nowhere & I'm gonna hold you to that.
We're gonna grow old together & have wheelchairs for our strawberries.
We're gonna travel, right? All around this big, wide world.
We're gonna settle down in New York, or Miami, or Chicago, or somewhere in America, or even in Europe, wherever baby, we're gonna get married & we're gonna have kids, & you, you're going to be one amazing mother angel, you're gonna be so trulywonderful, because as a human being, just in general, there are no words to describe how beautiful your soul is, as a friend, you're oneinamillion, & as my Fiancee... you're incredible... nothing can describe just how incredible you are.
This is really it baby.
It's been this way since the start.
You know ED's = death in the end.
You told me tonight it's never going to be enough, it's the same for you.
You've completed all these "goals" when it said it'd be enough to get better, & you need to get better without completing anymore goals, you need to get better for us, for our future kids, for our future together, for your friends, your family, your twin(who is looking down on you & is smiling with how proud she is at your strength baby girl), but most importantly, for YOU.
You have to get better for YOURSELF too.
That's the most important thing in recovery - getting better for yourself.
Please keep a diary over the next 2 days about everything you're feeling & thinking & your behaviors, & what's going on, & show it to Rachel when you get back to hospital.
You have to communicate with them baby, you've got another month & few days in there, you need to make the most of it, & hopefully they'll apply for more because like they said, you do need much longer in there.
You said you want to recover, but part of you doesn't - that part of you is the ED, because it's scared, it's frightened because you're standing up to it & fighting it. You're kicking ass baby girl, & it's scared, so it's clinging on with all its might. But, guess what? You're stronger than it. You can beat this. I know it. Everyone here knows it. & Somewhere inside you, you know it too.
That lady who said you won't recover is a bullshitter. She knows crap.
You CAN recover, you CAN recover fully, it might be there in the back of your mind, but YOU'LL be in control, not it, YOU.
You'll be free from its grip & you'll be able to do so much more with your life, you'll be free baby girl.
You do have the strength angel, you have it in you & you have always had it in you. It's just a matter of unlocking that strength & using it.
You're doing so well baby, please don't feel like all your efforts are down the drain because you've engaged in ED behaviors or that it's all over, it's not, noone can expect this to just go away, & for you to come home & be "cured". It doesn't work like that, we know that, I know that, you know that.
I'm not saying it's okay you engaged in them, it's not, it's extremely unhealthy & you need to "rewire" that automatic thought process & actions where you engage in these behaviors baby girl, & it'll take time, lots of time, patience, courage & strength - all of which you have.
I mean, come on, you put up with me, you must have patience!
You've been through somuchcrap, you do have much courage & strength, so, so very much.
You can do this.
I know it.
I believe it.
We all do.
We're right behind you, everysinglestep of the way.
We'll be there if you slip, we'll catch you before you even stumble.
Keep going angel, keep going.
I love you so, so much.
Here are some pictures for you from me ;
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Heavy imaging.
hugs well done helen im so happy they funded u extra time there
u are so brave and strong we all belive u can beat this ....
p.s also you and sarah are lucky to have each other and its good to have that support on the other end......
wel i hope u enjoy your weekend at home
and when u go back keep fighting and good luck u deserve it xxxx
young girl its alright your tears will soon dry your soon be free to fly
she's falling from grace , she's all over the place..............
i am so proud of you. i'm sorry i've been in and out lately, but there's been troubles with my internet (and my brain). i think of you every day, and i know you can do it. trust me, after years of bulimia....there is a better way!
hey just got home...
Such good news about the extra funding.
Don't have many words right now, but keep fighting Helen, you can win this battle.
xx
"That is why, for Christ's sake,
I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships,
in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong"
(2 Corinthians 12:13)
Hope going home will benefit you. xxx
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