Another year has passed and I have achieved some things. Not only am I another year free of SI (making it 4 years free),
1) Again I can handle stress better by talking to my cpn. I continue to phone her when things get bad. I only see her most of the time every 3 weeks (she comes to do my depot, if it wasnt for that I would only see her once a month). At one point I was seeing her every single week.
2) I havent got drunk and I continue to use alcohol responsibly (when I am in crisis I tend to abuse alcohol).
3) I feel as though I have grown so much over the past few years. When I chose my original username I was in a bad place. Now I feel less insignificant and so I felt that I had to choose a different username.
4) I continue to do swimming most weeks (I dont go during half term due to the fact that the kids stress me out). I dont know if I will go during the summer holidays though. I have bad eyesight so that doesnt help.
5) I am still Secretary for a sports day for people with disabilities. I can cope with the workload even though in July and August I am super busy. It's my fourth year of doing it.
6) I can do group work much more easily now. I used to get extremely stressed during group work and avoid any form of group work at all. If I was forced to do it, then I would walk out halfway through because my stress levels were extremely high and therefore my mh would get worse. But now I can stay all the way through and I can contribute to the discussion too.
7) I managed to make friends with one of people in a group that I attended and I go to coffee regularly with one of them. One is added on facebook.
8) I managed to go to Warrington on the train, in order to see my friend. Even though one of my trains was late and then left the train station late, I didnt panic.
9) I didnt end up IP last year and I have only seen my psych once this year. If things continue as they are, then I wont see him until next January.
10) I feel as though there should be a tenth thing but I cant think of any!
But there have been some downsides
1) I am not free of OD. Although I havent ODed since January, I have ODed several times. I am doing my best not to OD this year.
2) I havent got very far in my goal to learn Italian, hopefully I shall go part time to college in September to do so! I bought a CD, but I havent opened it. But tbh it's something that I saw taking at least 5 years, so it doesnt matter so much I havent achieved it.
So that's it! I feel as though SI is part of my past and that's something I will never do again. Here's to another year!
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
I bought a bottle of cava and a baileys latte. I plan to have a model horse commissioned for me. I have eventually decided what colour I want.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
I told my friend about being 4 years free, and she gave me a stuffed dog in order to celebrate. His name is Dudley.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
Wow! What an amazing post to read. I'm so pleased that you have made it to four years free, and all the other achievements listed are great as well. I hope you feel really proud of all of this and that you enjoy the rewards you chose :)
I just posted on the other thread and then saw this lol.
I was obviously so proud of you for being 4 years free, but then to read everything else you've acheived, OMG!! You're a superstar!! Good for you!
I'd also just like to point out, you've got way more positives than downsides listed there, so focus on that thought. I know you will keep working on the other things and we'll all be here to support you.
I haven't done too good on learning German either, so you're not alone, but I had my first visit there and survived! I have a book and cd too, at first I found it so hard, despite being good at languages in school, but I kept looking over it and suddenly found myself recognising more and more words, and it wasn't as hard then! I had even given up but the trip gave me a reason to try again. Sorry to talk about me, just trying to be encouraging and show you by example that it gets easier if you keep at it.
You know I always say you are such an inspiration to me because you hit your goals shortly before I do which really encourages me. Well I hope I could encourage you with the ods, I have managed to stop completely for a long time, if I could you can too. I know it's not easy but you're already doing well in opinion. If you'd like to talk about it further or hear my story (its not that interesting though lol) feel free to pm anytime. Now I've intruded on your thread enough lol. *internet high five* I can't wait to see your model horse, I used to collect horses too, but cheap ones!
Love always, Nikki xx edit: just reading over, I meant with stopping the ods obviously, it looks a bit dodgy how I worded that oops.
Thanks Nikki, actually I dont mind you talking about yourself as long as it isnt negative. I am doing my best not to OD, it's been nearly 6 months since I last did it though, which is very good for me.
Actually I have thought of a tenth thing. I am doing my best to get rid of the voices (before I was anti getting rid of the voices because I was lonely), I have recently increased my depot to get rid of them. Although it is still early days as I am on a depot and it takes about 4 injections before I feel an effect. I only have had 2. I am really hoping that it gets rid of the voice (I only hear 1 atm) though if this dose doesnt work then I can always increase the amount or frequency (I am currently on 500 mg every 3 weeks, the maximum dose is 600 mg every week). My cpn says my voice may never go though, but am trying. So even if it ends up quieter than what it is now, then it's a change. Getting my voices under control really helped with being SI free, because the voices used to really stress me out and I used to cut as a way of coping.
I emailed the company who are doing my model horse and they are celebrating 70 years this year! They are doing an special rosette for this, I have asked for a rosette too. It said that it will take 6-7 weeks, which is not a problem, I have waited 3 months for one before. I will get some photos of it in progress, so at least it wont be so bad waiting that long!
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
I was busy on the 15th hence why I haven't posted about it until now but I am another month free!
I still haven't had my model horse but I bought a model pheasant to go with it so I am gonna have a mega parcel when I eventually get it. It's a long wait but it's worth it.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
Oh wow! That's SO amazing! Congratulations! You should be so proud of yourself. All those achievements are awesome! I'm very proud of you! Keep going and stay strong. x
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
This is inspirational. Thank you for sharing, and well done on being SI free and on all of your other wonderful achievements!
For you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and intriguingly obliging manner to create you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. That is of course the miracle of life.
-Bill Bryson
Don't ever frown because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
I got my parcel with the model horse in so I will post photos once I take them.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
