*Possible Trigger*

[Sasch_99]

I’ve been trying so hard not to relapse, but I’ve never felt I needed it so much as I now. It’s been a few months now and I had got rid of anything I could use but this morning I had this urge to find something to keep close to me, I don’t know it kind of makes me feel safe, it helps just having it there but at the same time it’s all I can think about. I want to get rid of it like the others but there’s something stopping me this time. My boyfriend gets really angry when we talk about self harm, I don’t want to bring it up to him or how I’m feeling but I also don’t have anyone else to turn to. This is why I’ve come to here, knowing people in the same situation or similar. I’ve spent the last 15 hours contemplating what to do, sitting here trying everything to make the thoughts go away but nothings working. I’ve never desired it more then i have now. But I don’t want to relapse but at the same time I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight this

[one_step_closer]

I'm sorry you're struggling right now, you are so strong for having these thoughts for such a long time and managing to hold off. Would it help to talk through here what's making you feel like you need to turn to self harm? What has helped over the past few months? I think you are strong enough to keep fighting and that the feelings of having to fight will reduce over time so you're not battling so much. What do you like to occupy yourself with? It sounds like you're very consumed by thoughts of self harming at the moment and that can be difficult to get away from unless you're doing an activity that takes a bit of focus and that you can hopefully enjoy. Keep posting if it helps.