Triggering (SI/OD) - Does anyone else ever feel like they're just not made for life?

***** · 06-04-2008, 12:48 AM

This will probably make no sense at all but I'll try to put this feeling into words.

I just feel like life isn't made for me... I can't live a 9to5 job because I would get too bored, it wouldn't present a challenge. I start to think too much and I would find ways to feel more alive (SI ...)
But then I have these dreams about things I want to do in my life... travelling, taking risks,... But I know they'll just stay dreams. I'm too scared to actually try any of it. Too scared of what could happen.

So I'm stuck, between living like everyone else does and getting out there... in this empty void and there is no where to go.
Is this life then? If it is then I'm not sure I fit in...

Or am I just crazy?

Strawberry.Bananas · 06-04-2008, 01:00 AM

I think I understand what you're saying. Sometimes I feel the same way. For years I felt that I just wasn't meant to do anything. I spent so long living as a child I never cared then when it came to growing up I didn't want to because nothing was good enough but now, after a hell of a lot of crap I've finally found what I want to do and while it's going to take me a long time to get there it's challenging and exciting to me. It's not strictly a 9 to 5 job, it involves new things every day.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is I know how it feels to be stuck in that rut and feel that there's nothing to pull you out but if you keep at it, keep trying, you may well find that you stumble across that one thing that will motivate you and everything else may well just fall into place.

Sorry I can't be much more help.

PM / E-mail if you need :)

Xx

***** · 06-04-2008, 01:05 AM

Thanks for the reply... you're probably right.

It's just a lot of sadness is overwhelming me at the moment... it's been months since I've been able to cry... and now it's finally here...
I just feel like it shoudln't have been like this... I shouldn't have gone through all these years of crap, I should be happy, have friends, have fun... It's so unfare! ( I know probably everyone here feels like this)
And it's killing me inside... I don't want to be who I've become ...

Strawberry.Bananas · 06-04-2008, 01:18 AM

If you don't like who you've become it's never too late to change it.
Start experiencing new things; they may scare you but what's life without fear? Boring. And that may well be the problem. If you're bored with your life you give up trying.
In terms of not having to have gone through all those years of crap yeah you're right you shouldn't have but at the end of the day you have now and you've come through them but now you need to find a way to move beyond them; make the people/things that made those years hard know that you're stronger than to let them destroy you.
It's hard, I know; and I dont expect anything because I've been there; I'm still there but I believe you can do it.

***** · 06-04-2008, 01:20 AM

I'm trying ... and I still have hope of change. But at the moment I'm having a bit of a breakdown...
It'll be ok tommorow ... I just needed to get this out.
Thanks for listining!

Strawberry.Bananas · 06-04-2008, 01:24 AM

No problem. Anytime you want to talk or rant or anything just PM me :)

***** · 06-04-2008, 01:57 AM

Hmmm... I'm so worthless... about 4 months SI free down the drain and even longer OD free down the drain.
Stupid, stupid!