Finally seeking help.

[DancingwithElephants]

First off, my name is Sarah and I am bulimic. And thats the first time I've had the strength to admit that to myself.

On the outside I look normal but behind closed doors I go though cycles of binging and then fasting to make up for what I eat in the binge cycle. Since I was 13 (now almost 21) I've been living in this and until now I've never had the strength to break it.

I'm finally ready to stop letting this thing control my life, my social interactions and how I feel about myself. My doctor suggested that as I can't have in house treatment, finding a forum might help as well as writing down what I felt about what I eat and what I do in a journal. I'm being thrown in the deep end until there is space for me in a treatment program or my doctor can get me an appointment with someone more used to dealing with this but I do know I want to get better.

I guess that part of this is a vent, part of this is total confusion on what to do now. Where do I go from here? How do I change my eating habits and thoughts? I've been like this for so long, can I change?

[.Rescue.is.Possible.]

YOU CAN CHANGE!!!

Hey, Sarah!! I'm Morgan, and I've actually never posted in the ED boards before. I've struggled with ED before, primarily AN and throughout ages ~12 to 18, then was "better" for a while. Recently I've started to relapse and it's leaned more toward bulimia lately. And THAT'S the first time I've admitted it, too. :) So you're not alone in that, even though it's hard!

I'm proud of you, Sarah, for being ready to break this. I'm praying that you can find treatment where you live - that will help so much! But this forum should be able to provide support for you until then and throughout the whole process... and past recovery!! =] If you want to PM me, I'm here.

Unfortunately, I've never had treatment specifically for ED, so I'm not sure how to answer your questions. I know questions can be discouraging, but you have to keep the strength to push forward. Again, I'm here to talk. Sorry I can't be more help than that. =[ Just wanted to let you know that I can relate to you in some ways, and that I'm proud of you. =]

Good luck finding treatment!!

P.S. Love your avatar!!!!



With Hope,
Morgan

[when.will.it.end]

Hey Sarah,

You definiatly can change and recover. Sounds like you've made a huge step, you should be proud of yourself.

I think a good place to start is structure. What behaviours do you do now and how can you reduce them? What are the core reasons you got sick in the first place and how can you work through them? What support do you have and how can you build on it? Education is another important part I think; knowing what your body really needs and why ED's are so unhealthy.

PM me anytime
Katie <3
x x x