It has come to my attention that Italian-food-related crises are a running theme throughout the RYL community.
The recent crisis began just ten days ago, when Cara (Sentient Treacle) informed me that she had suffered from a near pizza overcooking anxiety attack in her very own kitchen. I was incredibly unsupportive, and can only sincerely apologise, as had I known what I know now, I'd have shrouded you in support and kindness.
Since, I have had numerous Italian cusine related disasters. After a difficult morning at work, I was sent home early and told to recouporate. Naturally, the first thing I wanted to do was consume a ham and pineapple pizza. Into the kitchen I go. Cook cook cook. Ham pineapple ham. BURN BURN BURN. SUDDENLY MY PIZZA IS DESTROYED AND COULD PASS AS CHARCOAL. I wept.
Things got worse. I had to prove to myself that this was a one time occurance, so the following day I made the decision to construct a pasta bake. Into the kitchen I go. Cook cook cook. Vegetables pasta cheese. BURN BURN BURN. SUDDENLY MY PASTA IS BLASTA (BLACK PASTA). I wept.
This evening, I endeavoured to overcome the rising fear consuming every part of my existance. I put a brave face on, and attempted to cook pasta spagetti bolognaise and garlic bread for RYL's very own Jenna (Pi.r^2). Out of sheer terror, I could no longer watch my pasta bubbling away, and regrettably, removed the pan from the heat before its time was due. Whilst pasta tasting/dropping pasta everywhere, I briefly forgot that my garlic bread was relying on me to save its dear life. I turn to the oven. BURN BURN BURN. SMOULDERED GARLIC BREAD. I wept more than ever.
So that's it. I hope that I have explained as thoroughly as possible, so that others can fully relate to my woes. Us RYLers just don't seem to be able to cope with these concepts, and I felt that this thread would fill in a much needed gap of support within the community.
p.s. strangers of RYL please feel free to post your pasta woes. We are a friendly community of pasta disastras, and are open to making new friends. Disaster pictures are encouraged.
Oh good grief I'm sorry to laugh at your misfortune, but I am chortling a lot at this!!
On the one hand I would like to say that being the recipient of Cara's allegedly burnt pizza and your allegedly undercooked pasta, I must say I doubt the necessity of this thread, as both were quite splendid meals!
Though maybe I'm lacking empathy to suggest that this thread is unnecessary. It seems like it's my turn now to try my hand at creating Italian cuisine so soon I may be eating my words whilst you and Cara eat the charred remains of my culinary efforts.
As a side note, advance warning that Cara will probably boycott this thread on account of your enthusiasm for putting pineapple on pizza. Then you'll have to have a pineapple pizza support thread too.
I am sorry, and (slightly) ashamed to admit that I have laughed so hard I cried at the events that you describe here.
I am sorry you struggle with cooking Italian food, and I am sure others will be able to relate(I am sure Cara already does).
Unfortunately(or, well, for me it is quite fortunate), I cannot fully relate. While I have previously had anxiety related to making any kind of food, I have an Italian surname which clearly points to the fact that I have Italian ancestry. It is but genetics that has enabled me to make food(especially Italian), as I utterly fail at anything else that involves 'making'(such as crafts, etc.).
I am always available for support and help with cooking(with the help of my long-lost ancestors).
P.S.: I also bake great cakes.
P.P.S.: I agree 200% with pineapple on pizza. It is my belief that Cara must have not tried the right pineapple pizza yet, and that she will soon see the error in her ways :P
P.P.P.S.: Jenna, it seems you have an unusual predisposition toward being the recipient of such events related to allegedly-ruined Italian dishes.
Though maybe I'm lacking empathy to suggest that this thread is unnecessary. It seems like it's my turn now to try my hand at creating Italian cuisine so soon I may be eating my words whilst you and Cara eat the charred remains of my culinary efforts.
.
Your time will come, friend. You'll feel our pain soon.
Trying to cook pasta in your microwave doesn't go well or at least it didn't for me. I just had uncooked pasta in a microwave pot and the water decided it would explode out through the hole.
This is what happens when you try and be lazy.
FUN TIMES!
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
This thread inspired me to create Proper Art for the first time in months.
You are all wrong, the only justifiable fruit on pizza is tomato and the only justifiable meat is pepperoni.
My first name is Italian and Celtic. Clearly I inherited none of the Italian cuisine skills arguably attached to my name, but if our names were linked to the best culinary dishes we were destined to produce then I fear my name would be Toast.
Oh god I want to hear you say,
I want to hear you say that you were wrong again
This is the first thing
I have understood:
Time is the echo of an axe
Within a wood.
Beautiful art.(I am completely ignoring the 'interdiction' sign and focusing on the pizza:P)
I have to agree with pepperoni being the best possible meat on pizza. Though I like ham as well(perfect combination with pineapple, I'm a sucker for low-quality £1 Co-op pizza).
Ah, Toast. The one thing I definitely cannot make. I burn it daily. Everyone in the household is used to my frustrated early-morning squeals('NOT AGAIN!!1'). I feel so bad for all of the bread I've wasted.
Also, pasta + microwave is definitely not a good idea. Never tastes the same as properly made pasta.
Do not worry, as you are most certainly not the only one to have gone through this. A few weeks ago, I arrived home to a *severely* burnt Co-op pizza that my flatmates insisted they had 'made for me'. It was a pleasant surprise.
Is Kingsmill that extra-expensive, extra-soft bread?
Well, it is never too late to attempt making pasta without anything to cook it in:
This thread inspired me to create Proper Art for the first time in months.
You are all wrong, the only justifiable fruit on pizza is tomato and the only justifiable meat is pepperoni.
My first name is Italian and Celtic. Clearly I inherited none of the Italian cuisine skills arguably attached to my name, but if our names were linked to the best culinary dishes we were destined to produce then I fear my name would be Toast.
While I will forever argue that pineapple is fine on pizza I feel you need to win the Turner prize with that picture!
Pepperoni and I have a hate hate relationship, but I respect some people eat it on pizza.
To be honest, when I think about it, toast is a bit ambitious, I should probs just be called Kingsmill.
If your skills are quite like mine, perhaps toast is ambitious. Perhaps you recall the picture I sent you most recently, of charred bread. I felt that this disaster did not belong here as we are discussing Italian grub. But now that we're on the topic, I might well have to share my culinary disaster of Saturday 28th November with the community. So here goes... RIP bread.
If the foil showed my reflection, you would see a weeping Steph.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Indigo.
I have to agree with pepperoni being the best possible meat on pizza. Though I like ham as well(perfect combination with pineapple, I'm a sucker for low-quality £1 Co-op pizza).
There is nothing better than the cheap, children sized personal ham and pineapple pizzas. They are my 'go to' choice in all difficult situations. Can't go wrong. Unless you're giving it to Cara, of course.
So everybody. Question of the day. On those occasions that your culinary confidence is so low that you couldn't successfully warm bread (see above), where do you like to go? Personally, Pizza Express is my first choice. I would recommend the Padana, for a garlic/goats cheese experience. I also rather enjoy their glassware. Water is presented in fancy blue glasses similar to these (but much fancier):
Steph, RIP bread. I even burnt the toast today(luckily, it was still edible), right after I posted here. Seems I can barely avoid it, even when I am consciously trying to.
As for Co-op pizza, I very much enjoy the pepperoni one as well(Cara can have it though, while we enjoy/fight over the ham&pineapple pizza).
Re: Question Of The Day
Unfortunately, I feel like I haven't really sampled enough pizza-places to have a valid opinion. I will have to go with Pizza Hut as I have lovely childhood memories related to it.
I have actually never been to Pizza Express, but the garlic/goats cheese combination sounds too good to be true, therefore I have to try it asap. Also, points for the fancy blue glasses.
Re: Question Of The Day
Unfortunately, I feel like I haven't really sampled enough pizza-places to have a valid opinion. I will have to go with Pizza Hut as I have lovely childhood memories related to it.
You must try Bella Italia, Pizza Express, Prezzo, and Spagetti House. Immediately!
My birthday is coming up, so hopefully I'll be able to use it as an excuse to try MORE ITALIAN <3<3 Thank you for all the recommendations XD
Also, I am so lame, in spite of loving Pizza Hut, I, erm, had no clue they had an ice cream machine?? [I feel extremely clueless. Why.]
