Esa change of circumstances form

[Margo]

I moved out from my dads in June. The whole world told me it would be good for me. All my support team, my psychologist, people at mind, Freinds, family etc.

It has been the right thing to do. I'm not spending 20+ hours in an 8x8 room each day.

I never thought once it would affect my benefit. I never knew what benefit I actually got apart from it being esa. I was always too ****ed up at the times of applying and receiving notifications. Too scared to read.

Now it seems the change means my money will stop as I'm living with a partner who works full time. Now I'm terrified of an overpayment since I've been here.

It is the only income I have. Out of that I have to pay for my own therapy and the petrol to get there twice or three times a month. I pay for my medication out of it.

They have sent me this massive form asking about pensions and working and my partners income and everything. I've simply moved house.

I don't understand why I have to fill all of this in. The only thing that's changed is I don't live at home with my dad any more.

Apparently I get income related as my NI contributions have run out. I didn't even realise. I got assessed last in 2013.

I have tried to fill the form and my head starts to go weird. I got dizzy and silent. I out a sharp to my arm for the first time in months. I took it away and cried secretly.

My paranoia is massive. I know I've done nothing wrong or illegal and yet I feel like I'm going to prison or something.

My car has just been scrapped. I have to find another.

I feel so stupid. I feel so ashamed. This stupid booklet is scaring the **** out of me.

**** I'm sorry.

[whirlpools]

I can understand how distressing this feels. The whole system is very confusing, and even the awards letters are confusing for professionals never mind people in receipt of the benefit.

Please don't be alone with it. Practically speaking, it could be worth speaking to the CAB, or seeing if any help can be offered from the people at the Benefits and Work website. Also, Mind often have specialist staff who can assist so maybe ask at your local Mind if you're still in touch with them or ring/e-mail the national Mind.

[Margo]

Thank you. I'm in a new area and haven't got a mind near by.

I feel like I'm being punished for trying to make myself better. My mind is in overdrive and is taking me into the ridiculous.

I will try and fill it in by the weekend. Last year was so terrible and such a shock relapse and I've started to feel like the old Matthew again but it's scary how fast the bad feelings can come back.

[talaiporia]

It's horribly stressful, but my guess is if you were living with family there were also a number of benefits you weren't entitled to - housing benefit and coucil tax benefit - and there may be other things you're entitled to. Whatever happens, I'm sure your partner will want to help find a solution that works. Have you talked to them about it?

[Margo]

Thanks. I have never claimed any benefit I'm not entitled to. When at my dads I only claimed esa when the old IB stopped. No housing or council tax benefit or anything.

She will help me but it's confusing and some things seem really irrelevant.

The most upsetting thing of all is how I've reacted. I feel really stupid

[Zurg]

Matthew, please don't feel stupid or continue to beat yourself up about it. We can never really know what will trigger us until we are faced with something we feel we cannot handle. It was a mistake. Just a mistake.

I am not too familiar with the system in your country but i know that there are places and people you can go to who can help you. You don't have to deal with this all on your own. I understand the fear, i get the same fear every time i get a letter from the state, but you know you haven't done anything wrong. Try to stick with that thought. Bureaucracy is crazy and doesn't care for people's feelings but the people behind it will usually be okay to talk to.

I hope you will feel better again soon. It IS a scary thing to get such a letter so don't feel embarrassed over your reaction. But it's a problem with a solution. And that's at least a positive in the middle of such a shock.

Also, shout i you need me. I'm always around and my inbox is always open

[Bitter_Angel]

Don't fill the form out by yourself.
Look online for your local council site an see if they have a service. Often called something like benefit maximisation or welfare rights. They know the wording to use and can run through the form in a quarter of the time it would normally take you. Best thing I've ever done was go through them.

Chin up chuck, forms suck, but they don't have to be the last straw.

[Margo]

Frothy bum!

Thank you all x

[sherlock holmes]

ESA forms make me want to cry and run away.

Are you on DLA or PIP? If not it's well worth applying. They are not means tested so living with your partner will not affect your eligibility to those.

Also ask the benefits people if you can go back on contributions based ESA. Your contributions may have built up again since as when you are on ESA they pay your contributions for you.

[Margo]

Thanks. I will find out this week what's happening and the cancellation. No I don't get any other income except from the esa. They out me back on contribution while the circus form is filled in th mitigate further overpayment but I'll still get billed for two months worth which I simply cannot pay.

I've cut my expenses to an absolute minimum so my only outgoing are phone and medication.

The thought of no therapy is terrifying. It's been so good recently and kept me going I dread the thought of losing it.

I will look into pip but I doubt I'd get anything.

I have to call the woman who wanted to visit me to verify my details tomorrow as she left a message to call. I'm paranoid about it now. Why would she want to speak seeing I am 5 hours drive away and already submitted my forms..

[Eir]

It's always awful dealing with welfare applications and issues.
I definitely recommend having a support person around for any appointments. I've been one for my partner and used my mum as one for myself. It's best if the support person has some experience in dealing with the system.
I'm not sure what ESA is, but I'm assuming its some form of subsistence payment. Here, the rules around moving are a bit crappy, if you move to a place with lower employment opportunity they can take it away. Is this a possiblity for your situation? We can also be referred to an in house social worker if things are complicated, who can help you navigate the system. Again take a support person, cos not all of them act as though they are there to help people. Cant imagine that being any different over there.
Good luck

[Margo]

Hey Annie.

I'll be ok. We will manage! I'm lucky in that respect that life won't end because I have no income. It will just have to change a little.

I looked into PIP and I don't qualify as I'm not that dependent on others.

Therapy in a couple of weeks and hopefully it won't be the last. Will try and find a way to go once a month.

My partner is amazing and I couldn't have gone through this without her. She's totally brilliant and supportive.

I am sure that regardless of what happens something good will come from all of this.

I am waiting for the outcome of my change and will be expecting an overpayment to come through. I will be appealing of course!

I just feel a bit aggrieved as there are so many who cheat the system and I have used that extra income to pay for my own treatment. But hey. I have a home and I live somewhere totally beautiful and I have a beautiful girl to look after me.

Love to all Xx

[Eir]

Good to hear things are looking up, or rather that you are seeking the positive.
So proud of you.
*squishes you*