i relapsed and i feel like crap...help

purple ivy · 30-12-2013, 05:53 PM

i don't know i was having a break down and was crying i was sitting in my bed telling myself how horrible i am and how everyone hates me i told myself i deserve it cause I'm so awkward and annoying and a bratty little thing then a had another panic attack my hands would shake i felt like i couldn't breath and my heart was beating so hard i thought it would stop pupping blood then i kept thinking about how i have nobody I'm alone and fat and ugly i started to scream then i just kinda reached over a stared cutting the hell out of my skin and now I'm sitting her disgusted with myself i can't believe i did that again its not like i was clean for long though only for like 13 days but i need advice cause for the first time ever I'm starting to feel like i wanna die and i think i might actually try...

purple ivy · 30-12-2013, 06:12 PM

please someone help me

purple ivy · 30-12-2013, 08:52 PM

is it wrong that i posted this??? I'm not getting any support or anything :(

SoSimple · 30-12-2013, 10:05 PM

I am so sorry you are feeling this way! Is there anyone at all that you could talk to that would be able to help? No one has the right to make you feel that way. I've found that sometimes people can make you feel bad about yourself not because there's anything wrong with you, but with them. Life can always get better, please don't give up on that hope.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with posting on here, that's exactly what it's for. I don't think as many people are on because of the holidays, but if you new to talk about it please do so.

* hugs * Stay safe.

purple ivy · 30-12-2013, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoSimple

I am so sorry you are feeling this way! Is there anyone at all that you could talk to that would be able to help? No one has the right to make you feel that way. I've found that sometimes people can make you feel bad about yourself not because there's anything wrong with you, but with them. Life can always get better, please don't give up on that hope.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with posting on here, that's exactly what it's for. I don't think as many people are on because of the holidays, but if you new to talk about it please do so.

* hugs * Stay safe.

no...sadly no body i can talk to :(( just that i just feel really bad about myself i i don't know i have depression and anxiety and panic disorder and I'm pretty sure a have a ED I'm really scared and alone I'm only 13

SoSimple · 31-12-2013, 02:17 AM

Would your parents be willing to take you to a counselor? Or could you talk to a school counselor about it? I know it can seem kind of scary at first but believe me, it helps so much.

purple ivy · 31-12-2013, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoSimple

Would your parents be willing to take you to a counselor? Or could you talk to a school counselor about it? I know it can seem kind of scary at first but believe me, it helps so much.

my parents don't know about anything of this and everyone keeps telling me to tell them but...i...i can't

zivalover16 · 31-12-2013, 05:49 PM

Can you tell you your parents that you want to see a counselor without telling them about your self injury? I know how scary it is to be in your place. 13 days without cutting is a great thing! It's not something that you are going to stop over night. Going one day without it is an accomplishment. I've found that writing helps me when I start to feel like you felt but it helps to write or distract yourself early. Once you get to the point where you where I have yet to find a way to release the stuff without hurting myself. I know it's scary but I encourage you to tell an adult. Doesn't have to be your parents but an adult that you trust and feel comfortable talking to. I'm sorry you are going through this and I wish I could say more to help but different things help for different people. Try doing stuff when you are feeling not so bad to see how it makes you feel. I found writing poetry about the cutting helpful when I started to feel bad. I also have depression and a panic disorder. I really hope you can find someone off line to talk to but keep posting here and people will help when they can

zivalover16 · 31-12-2013, 05:50 PM

I understand not being able to tell your parents. I was 13 when I started cutting and didn't tell them until I was 17.

zivalover16 · 31-12-2013, 05:53 PM

also don't feel like crap for relapsing. I usually do when I relapse but my mom has finally understood how to handle it and tells me what's done is done. You are human, you have an addiction and you will relapse. The fact that you can go even a day without it is a great thing. Some times it's even a great thing that one can go a few hours without it. Hang in there. I know it's scary