resltess, can't stop being 'on the go'

[EyelinerAndCigarettes]

Hi all,

Wondered if anyone had any experiences of this? Or any advice?

The last 2 weeks or so I have had this complete inability to just stay at home. It sounds silly but just this week I have 'booked in' 2 things to do (at least) a day - out of the house, involving driving somewhere etc. I've been leaving the house at 8.30am to get places for 9am, mainly because that's when things open! This wouldn't really be a problem but I am burning out and I have another week ahead now thats booked back to back.

Today for example I was in the supermarket for 8 when they opened, then I went to the town centre for 11 then I went home and then I met my friend for 12 and then I saw some family at 3. They left mine at 5 and as soon as the door shut I just had this massive wave of restlessness and almost panic because I have the evening ahead of me, here, at home. I'm half thinking of going for a walk now because I'm just so anxious. I can't stand the thought of these unfilled hours?! It's odd because I have a lot to do here! I have my 2 little ones and endless washing to do etc etc. But I am sitting here typing this acutally panicking as I don't have anything planned 'outside the house' till 12 tomorrow and I'm worried as I haven't filled the 9 - 12 slot in the day. I have filled the 12 - 3. And I won't get home till 3.30. And I've already half planned somewhere I can go after that if I get panicky again. It's madness because I'm not really eating because of just being go go go all the time. I'm just rushing around and on paper it looks absolutely amazing! My friend said I am doing so good this easter holidays getting out with the kids and stuff but I'm not doing it for the right reasons if you see what I mean? I'm doing it out of restlessness/fear/anxiety/something else? Like on the weekend I drove 4 hours ( 2 hours there, 2 hours back ) to this farm place, but we only spent 2 hours there. I was exhausted when I got home but I still went out again after!

My husband seems to think it might be hypomania-related?! (I have perhaps foolishly stopped all my medication) But I don't feel manic, I just feel agitated and scared and not good. I have been meaning to ring my CMHT but I don't want to really. I don't want to get told off. And the 'do I really need a CMHT' thoughts are in my head.

Apologies. Bit of a ramble!

Thanks guys <3

[one_step_closer]

I really think you should phone the CMHT just to try and get on top of things and hopefully not let things get worse. I know it's difficult but that's what they're there for and maybe they'll give you a telling off for stopping your medication but they can also help you to get back to a better place. Maybe you can learn from this. Were things better when you were taking your meds? Is there something you are trying to avoid that might kick in if you slow down? Something you might think about or feel more of? Please get in touch with the CMHT, they don't need to support you forever if that's not what you think you want or need. You deserve to be settled and enjoying things.

[Auror.]

hypomania does sound possible given what you are describing, and was our first thought too. obviously not a medical human or psychiatrist, but do you have anything like prn that you would be open to (and allowed to be) taking if regular meds aren't something you are currently okay with? it might at least help slow the restless agitated feelings a bit.

either way it sounds pretty awful to have to deal with. so maybe the cmht could help figure out some other options?

[EyelinerAndCigarettes]

Thanks both. Sorry for the late reply - I seem to have come down somewhat, although my husband is still complaining I'm talking a lot, I do feel a bit calmer though and finding it a bit easier to sleep. He said he'll ring the CMHT for me on Monday and I also see my support worker that day, although she works for the council rather than the CMHT. Thank you for your wise words.

x

[one_step_closer]

I hope everything goes well tomorrow and you can get whatever type of support will be useful for you. Take care.