suddenly I'm speechless (and that doesn't happen very often).
I'm shock, and actually appalled, by those that have said above that they only have a handful of people on here that they actually believe. (i would quote, but then people are gonna get arsey if i miss one). So what, you guys only support those people that you are 'definite' are telling the truth. I actually feel a little sick thinking about that.
Yes, people sometimes lie. Yes, this can be horrific for those on the receiving end.
Yes, those that tell lies are often very ill or in desperate need of support, and are not getting it.
Maybe because you only believe (and i'm guessing respond) to those you 'know' are telling the truth.
"Has anyone seen my contact lens? It may be stuckto a tree or a rock or something. Oh boy, I am so grounded" Family Guy
if everyone cared and nobody cried, if everyone loved and nobody lied, if everyone shared and swallowed their pride, we'd see the day that nobody died
No one has said they ONLY support those who they know are true. All the people who have posted about not knowing more than five people who don't lie on here yadayada are noticeably people who help a LOT more than five people, and everyone does their best to help no matter what. No one said they only support 5 people who they know don't lie AT ALL. That's a complete twist of the truth. Please be reassured, look at people's posts on other forums if you need more proof.
Ugh.
Having said that a lot of us find noticeable liars in chat, and when they've supposedly nearly died for the 5th time in the most unrealistic ways ever, and you have been spending 3-5 hours plus everyday trying to support them to no avail, then you know what, yeah,I will try and help someone else. Especially if that person I know is not making ridiculous lies.
The number of known people who actually died while at RYL is very small. I can think of 5 in the 5 yrs I have been here. The number of faked deaths and cancers etc in that same time are a great many. Its not a trifle because young members have often taken the faked deaths very hard - some having tried to "console" the perp in the days leading up to the charade. Some kids see the drama of some events and feel compelled to act things out in their lives ("suicide contagion" is not a myth). People announcing deaths should have to encounter some inspection. A known member would have no problems at all. I've seen more faked deaths after 12 or 20 posts than I can remember - most were busted in very concrete ways as well.
I dont only support people I believe, but at the same time you cant expect everyone to support people, some people just arent in the right place to do that. It's not a requirement of being on RYL that you have to support people.
I write genuine, helpful replies to everyone regardless of whether I believe them or not, but I just dont get attached until I know I can trust them or not.
There's only a few members where I'll see their posts and genuinely believe them but that doesnt stop me supporting others.
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
I'm rather in consensus with the people above who have said they generally take a lot of what is said with a grain of salt.
Now for me, this doesn't mean I don't automatically don't believe anything I read, it just means that I don't get emotionally involved.
My guess is that on the grand scheme of lying on RYL these "fake deaths" are only a very small percent of what is really going on, and there are a lot more subtle lies happening every day that people don't know about.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
that's really horrible... is it people lying about themselves (creating false usernames) or people just saying it about others??? i couldn't imagine doing that. i think the going thru mods would be a good thing, even if proof weren't involved (i mean what kinda proof would there be that wouldn't infringe on the family's privacy... death certificate, phone numbers seem pretty personal for a website), but it would give the mods an idea of whether it might be real just reading it at least a little and hold the person posting more accountable if they are lying. i mean are you going to be as likely to lie about that if you have to pm a mod first??? and are people who are found to be lying being banned, given infractions, and such? idk. that's a really hard one.
that's really horrible... is it people lying about themselves (creating false usernames) or people just saying it about others??? i couldn't imagine doing that. i think the going thru mods would be a good thing, even if proof weren't involved (i mean what kinda proof would there be that wouldn't infringe on the family's privacy... death certificate, phone numbers seem pretty personal for a website), but it would give the mods an idea of whether it might be real just reading it at least a little and hold the person posting more accountable if they are lying. i mean are you going to be as likely to lie about that if you have to pm a mod first??? and are people who are found to be lying being banned, given infractions, and such? idk. that's a really hard one.
Just want to pick up on this bit.
What is more personal than getting very close to someone on a website, and them "dying"? A massive percentage of people on here swap mobile numbers anyway or facebooks etc, so it wouldn't be hard to find out, because most peoples facebooks have real life friends/families on, and it wouldn't be hard to contact someone via mobile if necessary.
I just feel that lying about a death is more personal than anything, and inflicts alot of emotional turmoil on other members unnecessarily.
Agree with you lot.
I'm sorry, but maybe i#ve become desensitised to it, but i don't really care enough unless i get to know them pretty well.
*shrug*
exactly the same. to be honest mostly i only read posts from people i know, or e-know (because most people i am friends with on this site i have met in person at least once).
but saying that, there are a couple people who i have never met/don't really know that well who i am interested in, which sounds creepy but i mean that they are usually interesting or seem incredibly genuine but usually i become friends with them after a while anyway.
^same!There are a few people here who Im interested in,i dont know how to make that sound less creepy!
There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you.
But there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.
I aint no abacus but you can count on me.
and are people who are found to be lying being banned, given infractions, and such? idk. that's a really hard one.
Yes, they are, but the mods have to be pretty sure they are lying.
Well it breaks my heart to see you this way,
The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
Somehow I guess they were wrong.
i know what you mean.
linda, I always start to capitalise then never finish xD.
urm.
my point?
oh, yeah. i know what you mean. but i've become so desensitised to it now i'm just like. kay, cool, and unless i've talked to them for a LONG time/met them then i just don't care. kinda.
anyway.
whatever.
*sits*
maybe this is why my threads barely get any posts in support xD/
There are far too many people here to be able to simply trust them all. Even very well-known and well-respected members have been proven to have lied about their whole lives, and in at least one case, death. You really have to be careful about the level of emotional involvement you commit to people, especially people you only know online. That said, I care about some people here very much, not because I know for sure that everything they have said is absolutely true, but because the emotions are real regardless. When it comes to something as extreme as faking death, then there just is so simple solution, as someone else said. It's going to happen, and people are going to have to deal with it. Like Irene (I think) said, all you can do is know that what you are reading may not be true.
I have been lyed to online on RYL and through msn via people I met on RYL. To me, there is nothing worse than lies. Its manipulative and cruel. As said this is primarily a self harm support site, not a place to give therapy to liars. And someone who lies to that extent does need therapy.
I used to believe a lot more than I do now, and even then I classed myself as a sceptic. I now dont really trust anyone to the extent at which I used to, because even people I knew for over a year made up horrible lies, and I thought I knew them well. Fact is, anyone over the internet you dont know, you only see what they let you see.
I support anyone on here, but I dont trust 95% of them, and never will be able to just trust anyone.
I think this is a major issue, and I wont claim to have any answers cos I really dont know what could be done. Sadly people as individuals need to protect themselves and be very careful as to who they let affect their emotions.
I have no suggestions, but I just wanted to comment.
xx
L_M_G is my mummy :) inkerman and razorbladedarling are my two non-identical twin sprogs (concieved on same day) Scabette< cos she has the cutest puppy dog eyes and i cant resist!feeling-afraid< my bottle of glitter!! which i just have to have :Pmidnight stars< my gorgeous sister, whom i love to bits ;) Dance With The Fairy< *star*gazing*buddie :] Broken-Fairy is my partner in crime ;) little_miss is my real life saviour PaperClip is my stationary queen
i find it hard to trust people as i seem to attract a lot of liars that are then found out.
could an option be to have a forum to post death announcements/funeral arrangements, and the threads don't appear until OK'd by a mod? It could be a locked thread or left open for RIPs.
I have know 3 genuine deaths in the last 18months or so, 2 vets and a girl who i didn't know, but a fair few attended the funeral.
i dont think RYL is the right place for liars using lying as a form as harm. it would be like sticking a triggered cutter in the knife aisle of a store.
temptation will always be there, and in that sense are we helping them to spin this particular form of harm? maybe a separate issue... but its late and im writing as the thoughts pop into my head.
night for now, mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
Over the many, many years..there have been sooooo many fake deaths here that after awhile i just stopped believing any of them. I have always found it hard to show compassion to someone who faked their own death and then were dumb enough to come back here.
If you don't have what you wantthen want what you have.
