Recovering? Recovered? In recovery? What am I?

[princesskaytie-leigh]

I've suffered from depression for the best part of 10 years, since I was 12-13ish I guess. The only thing is, I'm not always depressed anymore. And unless something major happens, it's not as bad is it can get. The only time I get severly depressed to the point where it pretty much disables me is when I have a bad relapse. It's not always there, but sometimes I feel a bit down, but its never as bad as it used to get. And I can't see a major relapse coming on unless something pretty significant happens, so what do I class myself as?

Because while I still have depression, I don't 'suffer' from it so to speak. So does this mean I'll never be recovered, because it could come on anytime. Am I in recovery until my next relapse? and whats the difference between 'in recovery' and 'recovered'???

I'm a bit confused I guess haha!

[.:.Just.Smile:.]

I cant help, sorry, but it is a very good question. Ive often wondered about that too. And i hate when people say to me 'ahh, your defintley recoverd, your so much better than you were', because im either not telling them how I really feel or Im so scared that it will come back, which it does. Ahh, if you ever find out, let me know

xxx

[Stellata]

I get where you're coming from. I've been depressed for 20+ years,[although I've only been having treatment for the past 5 or so years]. It has reached a point where I understand my illness symptoms better, can function better and contain the waves when they come. The surges of deep depression don't last as long, and I am more able to communicate with myself and others about what's going on.

So, I'm not sure what the word to describe where you're at would be. I describe myself as recovering.

The thing about depression, when you've had more than one major episode, the likelihood of it recurring are high. But each time you feel it emerging again, like you say, you get more able to manage it and work around it.

[princesskaytie-leigh]

So it's always going to be there then I guess... is it ever anything you can just get rid of completely?

[Stellata]

I don't really know the answer to that. Everyone is different, and we never know exactly how things will develop. I just know for myself that its probably something that I will always have to bear in mind and hold in awareness, although it might not be as debilitating as time moves on, its part of my brain chemistry because of very early trauma, and as such there will always be a part of my personality liable to depression.

[princesskaytie-leigh]

Yeah I think it's the same for me =)