Eli - are you planning on starting work in a nudest resort then? :P
and Jodie, it puts us in an awkward position. If we make a guide and then someone posts somethign glamorising that isn't represented in the guide, they could turn around and say 'well it wasn't in the guide so it was within the rules' - do you see?
The base line i use for glamorising is, would I expect to see it on a pro site. And if the answer is yes, that's when i begin to question weather it should be on here.
"I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell." -Picasso
"No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war." - Picasso
'I have scars becuase I have a past; but they, like my past, do not define my future'
^ I guess I just don't get how I am supposed to know if it would be seen on pro site. I don't go on them any more, and haven't for ages. And to clarify, I didn't use them to glamorise what I was doing, it was before I found places like this.
And I'm not at all pro, so if it 'would' be seen on a pro site, does that mean it should be edited by me or you, even if I'm not being pro at all?
For me, it would be glamourizing if you were to describe the behaviour(s) as a somewhat 'positive' thing to do, when everyone probably knows that the behaviours that are 'normalized' around RYL, probably aren't that normal!
I know we cant bubble wrap RYL- I would be totally against that. You cant walk through life like that or you'll end up triggered by your own shadow.
But equally, on RYL, a recovery site, why should members get bombarded with numbers and romantic talk of self injury if it can be helped? I dont agree with the attitude that R&V is just a triggering place and it's your own fault if you look.
Some of the things being posted in the R&V would not look out of place on a pro board. Just think of what Liz wrote, silly though the example may be, it's not far off the mark.
There's not a hard and fast rule that xyz is glamourising and 123 isnt, so we do rely on post reports and we discuss everything that is reported.
It's hard to come up with examples off the top of your head, I can think of a few but as it's something I would remove because its triggering I dont know if I should post it!
Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…
you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.
Okay, whether these examples are about me or not, I remember pretty clearly stating a similar thing to that example.
I don't see how expressing in an articulate way how much SH makes me feel is a bad thing though.
Many people get across the same thing, but others go into more graphic detail of how it does make them feel and their thoughts about the actions they do to themselves and for me, I do like seeing the blood, I do like feeling it drip down my skin, I do think having stashed up pills & then taking them gives me a high, especially when, well, they are narcotics in the first place.
All of this, all of this is how I feel. For myself.
It is what goes through my head when I am doing the action, and it is what goes through my head after the action, and also before the action.
I'm not encouraging other people to do the same, all I'm doing (and others who've gone into similar details) is expressing how SH makes me feel & how I crave it so desperately & how it is a big reason in how I cope with everything.
I can see how saying that example could come off as being all for SH & pro & making it sound pretty like rainbows & blue skies, but I don't mean for it to come across as that way, I don't want it to come across as any way, I just want to rant & vent my feelings & thoughts out about whatever is inside my head.
I'm not for SH, when I rant about these things in details, I'm not saying to people "Oh go on, try it, it's amazing, it will make you feel so much better", same with purging or starving, I post to others needing support in these areas & try my hardest to steer them away from this path.
All I wanted from these sort of graphic rants is to express my deepest, & secretive thoughts about my behaviours.
Because if I told this to anyone in person, ie; a family member, I'd be judged, and they'd probably try to have me locked away.
The reason I do it on here is because 1) People don't judge, well, the majority don't anyway & 2) I can also receive support & hugs to know people care, & people who say they feel the same way too, so I don't feel as alone.
If those type of graphic rants are no longer allowed, then fine, but I wanted to explain why these type of rants are useful to me & why I do them here & what the point of them is, and that point is not to actively encourage or glam these behaviours.
Like Jodie, I don't know what would be on a pro site.
Would this be classed as glamourising? Or is it okay because it's not graphic? Taken randomly from my own rant thread:
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Glamourising? Who knows
Tomorrow is a new start. I can slowly disappear. I'd like to say it doesn't help but then I'd be lying. It does help. It helps a lot. I will never like myself, but can at least be thin. That'd solve one problem.
Once again I am standing right on the edge. I can see the hell that I'm wanting to leap into. It's pretty similar to what is here anyway. Might as well do something that made me feel better. I should just embrace it. Keep falling, Claire. That's it.
I know we cant bubble wrap RYL- I would be totally against that. You cant walk through life like that or you'll end up triggered by your own shadow.
But equally, on RYL, a recovery site, why should members get bombarded with numbers and romantic talk of self injury if it can be helped? I dont agree with the attitude that R&V is just a triggering place and it's your own fault if you look.
Some of the things being posted in the R&V would not look out of place on a pro board. Just think of what Liz wrote, silly though the example may be, it's not far off the mark.
There's not a hard and fast rule that xyz is glamourising and 123 isnt, so we do rely on post reports and we discuss everything that is reported.
Sarah, I don't understand why you've got it into your head that the examples used are about you? I'm pretty sure I've just told you a couple times that they're not..
Claire, I wouldn't say that was glamourizing. There is no descriptive use of words to the extent you're describing your behaviour(s) + it doesn't, to me, seem like you are normalizing anything.
Jodie, I think the R&V thread is different because it's where people let everything out, you know? Say, in General Support & Advice, you wouldn't graphically describe your last episode of SH, would you? But in R&V, you can.
to be fair, theres gunna be weight loss **** online, in person, on TV, ect. i personally dont know why RYL is so bubble wrapped, people are gonna be exposed to weight loss stuff in real life...
Most of the examples used are ones that I myself have used in rants, so I'm merely explaining, as one of the people who rants in graphic ways, why I rant like that, and why it is helpful for me, that's all.
Sarah - i wasn't thinking of you when I wrote the example. It was jsut the first thing that came to mind.
Jodie: when you post something, just ask yourself if it sounds like it would belong on a pro site. Even someone who has never been on a pro site knows vaguley what they're like. The mods know editing of stuff liek this is subjective, so its only with repeated galmorising we would warn/infract epople.
And claire: no, i wouldn't say what you had said was glamorising. I can try and explain why but i'm nto very good at explaining things. It was a lot more about how you were feeling than the acts themselves. I'm runnign out of steam so I can't say much more than that. its not very graphic, though, and it's not 'oh look look how ill i am, give me attention for how ill i am!' which are also two things which flag glamorising, to me.
"I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell." -Picasso
"No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war." - Picasso
'I have scars becuase I have a past; but they, like my past, do not define my future'
We're gonna have to live with it, although it does feel like I have to rethink every rant I make now just to be sure & i'm confused too if my rants may be glamourising or whatever..
They're not gonna change their minds, so no point trying :/
to be fair, theres gunna be weight loss **** online, in person, on TV, ect. i personally dont know why RYL is so bubble wrapped, people are gonna be exposed to weight loss stuff in real life...
RYL ISNT REAL LIFE.
how.many.times.
RYL isn't real life, ryl is a safe place for peopel to go and get support and BE SAFE. the rules (i.e. banned numbers) are there to KEEP PEOPLE SAFE. NOT to make the site like real life.
"I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell." -Picasso
"No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war." - Picasso
'I have scars becuase I have a past; but they, like my past, do not define my future'
to be fair, theres gunna be weight loss **** online, in person, on TV, ect. i personally dont know why RYL is so bubble wrapped, people are gonna be exposed to weight loss stuff in real life...
Then if that's the case, do you not think RYL should be the one place they can get away from that kind of crap and ask for support without having it shoved in their faces that people love to cut or starve themselves or take a load of pills for the joke?
We're gonna have to live with it, although it does feel like I have to rethink every rant I make now just to be sure & i'm confused too if my rants may be glamourising or whatever..
They're not gonna change their minds, so no point trying :/
You don't have to rethink every rant you make. Chances are, if you've nto had a rant edited, your not glamorising. If you have, learn from that.
I'm not sure what you don't think we're goign to change our minds about so I can't comment. But, if it's that PRO things shouldn't be allowed on a RECOVERY website, then no, we're not.
"I would be almighty in my own world of art, even if I had to paint my pictures with my wet tongue on the dusty floor of my cell." -Picasso
"No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war." - Picasso
'I have scars becuase I have a past; but they, like my past, do not define my future'
Jodie: when you post something, just ask yourself if it sounds like it would belong on a pro site. Even someone who has never been on a pro site knows vaguley what they're like. The mods know editing of stuff liek this is subjective, so its only with repeated galmorising we would warn/infract epople.
But I don't know.
I'm a bit worried that people who are nervous about posting already will be less likely to use R&V for worrying of being 'pro'. I'm not nervous about posting unless I"m having a really bad day but I'm feeling very unsure now.
I honestly don't know why anyone would imply that SI/OD/ED/etc would be a good thing for others to try and copy?
In the past when a post of mine has been editted, 9/10 a mod has explained to me why it's been editted. That way, you know from those reasons alone, anything a long those lines is not acceptable.
Claire, I wouldn't say that was glamourizing. There is no descriptive use of words to the extent you're describing your behaviour(s) + it doesn't, to me, seem like you are normalizing anything.
RYL normalises everything, to such an extent that if you tell someone self-harm isn't normal people get defensive and tell you to stop being harsh or nasty. R&V perhaps is the most obvious place of this normalisation, but then it is also one of the places where people know that it isn't normal, if that makes sense.
Let me understand this. Graphic descriptions of acts aren't allowed (although I thought that was already the case), and neither is attention-seeking (something again I thought wasn't really allowed).
Quote:
Originally Posted by [Purple_Rain]
RYL isn't real life, ryl is a safe place for peopel to go and get support and BE SAFE. the rules (i.e. banned numbers) are there to KEEP PEOPLE SAFE. NOT to make the site like real life.
This has never been clarified. RYL has not definite aim and this whole "safe place" nonsense neither makes sense or does it seem to exist across the board.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayakov
Everywhere you go, there are rules.
It's childish not to follow them. You're not three years old. Follow the rules. Get over it. Stop whining.
Doesn't mean you can't question the rules. Or try to get some clarification on them.
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