Sophie is making yet another melodramatic post. But you guys are the people who i feel safest with to talk to about this sort of thing.
My best friend who i have known for at least 16 years has recently been diagnosed as bulimic. She now weighs 7 stone 9 and is a size 6. Up until recently i was doing ok fighting my own ED, but this has really rocked the boat.
I never really got over the "mental" side of the ED, but the physical got better. I gained weight, I stopped purging so much, I no longer take pills. But I was still skipping meals.
Now, however I'm skipping every meal possible, I'm purging more and once again I'm lying to my parents about what I eat.
I'm not saying that this is all triggered by my friend but it's not helping. Being around her, seeing how thin she is, but hearing her talk about how fat she is, listening to her tell me how much she weighs, how little she eats....it makes me long to be like that again.
She has no idea i'm struggling, and i could never tell her.
I fell out with her big style a few months ago, and it was not long ago we made up, but i cannot fac losing her again. But when i spend time with her i just come away feeling so so low and shitty about myself. I can't cope.
I'm getting worse again and I don't want to stop it. It's like I'm in a competition with her that only I'm aware of.
Being ill the othe day didnt help. I couldnt eat and now im terrified of eating again. I ate tea today and now i feel physically sick.
I just don't know what to do. This post makes no sense.
I'm sorry
xxx
Playing with fire,
You know you're gonna hurt somebody tonight.
And you're out on the wire,
You know we're playing with fire.
I'm really sorry but I'm tired and not really in a good place to make a proper reply. I just wanted to say that i read and I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I will send you a proper reply tomorow. *hugs you tight* I care about you a lot. Take care
xxx
hug hun... im so sorry your feeling like this. im sorry you are havin a hard time with your ed.. i cant say much really but i can say im here for you and so are others XXX
Sweetheart I know thats its difficult when someone close to you is experiencing similar difficulties to you. I don't know how to put this but it may be an idea to distance yourself from her for a while. You need to put yourself first in this situation. I know that on one hand you don't want to improve and just lose weight but you need to keep the logical side of you stronger.
Please don't slip back into this, it will not help in the slightest as you know already. I don't know if you are doing exams at the moment but if you are I know this is very stressful for you and could also contribute to slipping into old habbits but please stop this or get helpp before you slip back fully.
I'm always here if you want to talk.
Sophie
Xxx
Dream more than others think is practical...
Risk more than others think is safe.
Every second being upset is a second of happiness you will never get back…
I agree with Sophie, it is SO hard when someone close to you in suffering, even when you're in a completely fine mental state (which you aren't)... I was in a similar situation with a friend when I was still at school, and only once she went to uni did I feel like I could remove myself from the situation, and only now can I see how screwed up it all was... However, that involved losing a friend...
I'm not saying ditch your friend, but you have to let her know how she's making you feel. I never did that and now I've lost someone who was very close to me. You have to explain to her that while you care for her and want to support her, that she is making things very hard for you. If she has been there for you in the past when you were in a bad way then she will understand (sorry if that sounds harsh, I didn't mean it like that).
I guess that's kindof preachy, hypocritical advice, but I think I learned from my mistakes before, and I don't want you to make the same ones.
*cuddles*
i dont have anything useful to say as it's really all been said
xxxxx
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
