Well, Its been a while.... I hope all the vets that i know that are still around or still lurking are well and safe.
For those who have tried to contact me - im sorry Im utterly rubbish sometimes at replying to people, so im really sorry and i will try and be better in the future.
So funny thing, thought id pop on here and lurk and see what was going on for the first time in 2009 i beleive! And then i saw the post about the old days.. This has left me a little emotional as there were a few people who i used to talk to alot who have helped me get where i am which i feel like i havent thanked.
So to those of you who did help me, thank you all because to be honest life couldnt get any better for me, its been 4 years and 7 months since i last cut myself, which is pretty awesome i think, theres still times i think about it, and ive still got the scars to remind me, but i think im pretty much recovered, there are times where i do still REALLY want to do it, but i work though it and manage to get through without doing it.
Ive been away working in austria since november, working out there for the ski season. I definatly had the most amazing and awesome time of my life out there, I always had a smile on my face, i was always confident and nothing fazed me, i was always laughing and having a good time and nothing got me down. Well there was one occasion in the whole time i was out there but it wasnt anything that i couldnt deal with.
So im back in England now - unfortunatly, I did go on a bit of a downer but i want to go back to austria for the ski season and become a ski instructor so at the moment im holding down two jobs - its tiring work instructing all day and then waitressing at night but im just focusing on money as its going to cost me a small fortune to get my ski instructors qualification.
Its pretty amazing because i feel like my whole entire life has turned around and im a totaly different personl. Most noticable things to me that have changed are that im happy and enjoying everything that i do. I dont get as stressed out, anxious, worried or scared about situations, no matter how uncofortable they get (forgein man are pretty intimidating and like english girls...) Lol its funny thinking about it now but at the time that was quite triggering.
So yeah, I just wanted to keep you updated on my adventures that im having and that im still around. And Im actually loving living life!!!
I hope all of you are well and i just want everyone to know it is possible to get through everything - I never once thought id get where i am today but i have and i think that life is great and i want to experience all that i can!!
Sorry for this post being so long!!!
It's wonderful to hear such good news!!!!
