This is something that I wrote on another self help forum, that has turned out to be really popular. Something that really interests me, as a very creative person, is what helps you through difficult times, times when you feel yourself slipping, crashing, or just not feeling that great?
What helps me:
Listening to music, Writing, Reading, Talking to people, Helping others.
What helps me the most?
Singing. I could sing until I lose my voice, and still feel miles better. Even when I've had a horrible mood crash and feel like I can't lift myself out, I put on a song that I know I can sing, and I sing. And sing, and sing...
So, what helps you when the mood spiral hits?
~The Difficulties That We Face Are Not There To Run Us Over. They Are There To Challenge And Strengthen Us.~
I stay downstairs until early hours of the morning and do college assignments. It's really been working because the end of the day is when I usually feel like self harming but if I'm downstairs and I've made myself comfortable, I don't want to go all the way up to my room and self harm because I'm lazy and my work distracts me from whatever reason I have to self harm :) Also by the time I'm done I feel like I've accomplished something and I'm too tired to even think about self harming and go straight to bed.
Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly <3
For me I find all the things you wrote [Survival] help me when I feel myself slipping. As well as cleaning, going for a walk, getting fresh air, going to Costa!
Never lose faith in yourself,
and never lose hope;
remember, even when this world throws its worst and then turns its back,
there is still always hope.
Burying myself in work though what helps me most is my animals mainly. I don't know what i'd do without them and yeah, running as well i think. I generally run until I physically can't move and it just tires me out to the point where i cant think. I would say talking to someone special but it appears I don't have that anymore.
Some really great ideas are coming up here. Tig, I'm pleased that some of my suggestions also help you :)
JenniRose - it is so good to have special people like that in our lives, who are there to listen to us and give whatever advice they can.
TinaRapson - Very good idea, accomplishments do tend to make us feel better, especially when it's a double whammy of doing something that we COULD have procrastinated against, and NOT doing something that was harmful to ourselves. I love that - thank you for sharing.
Louise - Thank you. I do like to do what I can to help others as much as possible. It just seemed appropriate to have others share their self-help ideas.
Lykaios - I'm sorry that you don't feel that you have someone special anymore - if you ever need to chat, I'm only a PM away... As for exercising, it can be very therapeutic with feeling that you've achieved something again. It also distracts us somewhat from whatever may be causing us to feel the need to self harm - please try to be safe with this though.
Knives - Some really great ideas you have there, thanks for sharing. I have to agree ranting can be SO good for us! I don't do it very often, but when I do it is a good release. Watching films with someone is always relaxing and helpful too, I find. Especially considering that we often don't do it enough - this whole 'me time' thing, hey?
Buttons - I have a HUGE list of reasons not to slip! It's a very good way of convincing ourselves not to do it, and again there's that accomplishment when we don't do it, and when we see a whole list of reasons that we shouldn't. Thanks for your input :)
Hellokittymad - wow, a massive list - thank you! I'm sure that all of those ideas will come in very handy to lots of different people. How kind of you to share this :) It seems you have some good options in place for when you're struggling.
Thank you so much everyone for replying to this, if I missed anyone out I am really sorry - but thank you for your input. Keep replying and I will be back on 14th Nov to reply once more.
Have a fabulous week everyone, let us know how you're doing and what's helped you through your week and again, I'm only a PM away if anyone needs a chat - just please bear in mind that I won't be replying until 14th November because I'm away in Venice for a week.
Lots of love and hugs everyone <3
~The Difficulties That We Face Are Not There To Run Us Over. They Are There To Challenge And Strengthen Us.~
For me, when I feel bad and incredibly low, I find that talking to my friends and distracting myself can be really useful. Sometimes (usually) friends can be utterly amazing and you don't realise how awesome they are until you feel rubbish!
Dancing makes me feel good. I love the music, learning new moves, remembering old ones and losing myself in a really great tune.
Running safely lets me process of thoughts/feelings and set goals that are attainable.
Helping others, though in moderation, can be good - like, around the forums, if you're not feeling so great. I'm not saying you should simply help others for your own emotional gain but sometimes it happens!
Organising things - books etc.
Wreck This Journal.
Walking.
Writing in my R/V or on LiveJournal, depending upon my mood.
Keeping busy.
Writing down/compliling positive quotes and phrases - Tumblr can be fantastic for this.
Working with children. It's a surefire way to feel better.
I'd also like to suggest a person who makes youtube videos - not about self harm which I guess can be considered a good thing because you're not being reminded of it. His youtube name is Peron75 or Michael Buckley. Some might find him annoying and I can see why but watching his videos has really helped me think more positively and overcome some of my insecurities. Watching someone else be positive and happy kind of makes me feel happier :)
btw I love this thread, I think it's an amazing idea! Thank you for making it :)
Last edited by TinaRapson : 06-11-2012 at 12:04 AM.
Reason: waned to add the last line :)
Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly <3
This probably sounds quite negative, but the thing that helps me the most is remembering how rubbish it is that I'm only 3 months free now, when it could of been over a year. That motivates me to not give in, so a year from now I don't have the same regrets.
In more chirpy news, sticker charts, distracting, writing and ranting all help me too :)
I've been quite unwell this week, so I'm sill recovering and have no brain to write quite as much as I'd like to, but I WILL compile my list once I am well again.
One thing that I will say though, is that the best idea someone ever told me was to book your next holiday once you come back from your last one - then you ALWAYS have something to look forward to. I've just come back from Venice, and now I'm looking forward to my trip to Scotland in December - it's great!
I promise I'll share my list as soon as I'm in one piece again - keep adding to this guys, it's looking to be something very helpful :)
~The Difficulties That We Face Are Not There To Run Us Over. They Are There To Challenge And Strengthen Us.~
Writing down my thoughts in a notebook has been very helpful to me. It's much easier for me to help myself if everything I'm thinking is laid out in front of me physically. It's also been helping me figure out how to explain my feeling to others, which I have a hard time with.
tumblr can also cheer me up, something on there usually makes me happy. Animal Crossing is cool too. :B
I love seeing friends, but it's difficult to see them because of our schedules.
Writing in my journal or poetry
Reading
Music
Singing
My cat
Talking to online friends
Obsessing over my favourite bands
I used to do art but not anymore
Watching my favourite shows on DVD or films (mostly musicals)
Doing my volunteer work
Sleeping (lots)
Shopping (also lots!)
Just sitting with my parents
Learning German
Still some lovely and helpful ideas popping up here, I'm so pleased!
I applied for a few volunteering opportunities a few days ago and yesterday got a reply saying that I start on 21st December, helping those who struggle with MH issues, self harm/suicide/EDs and are in crisis, to find a space to be safe. I am so proud that I am a part of it because I know how helpful those kinds of services would have been to me, had I had the courage to approach them. I cannot wait to finally be helping others in that way :)
So here's some of my list:
Volunteering My cat Listening to/composing music/writing songs Writing positive aspects of my day Ranting/venting through writing Posting positive quotes around my home Eating healthily/"clean" foods Drinking lots of water Exercising Walking my doggie :) Reading Breathing that first breath of fresh air in the morning, deeply Yoga Pilates Cooking Cleaning Tidying up Burning incense/candles Giving gifts Making others feel wanted/special Drinking herbal tea Getting creative - painting/dancing/drawing Booking holidays
That's just a few that I can think of at the moment... Keep going everyone :)
~The Difficulties That We Face Are Not There To Run Us Over. They Are There To Challenge And Strengthen Us.~
The best thing I can do to help myself is lighting a candle. It's so relaxing.
For you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and intriguingly obliging manner to create you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. That is of course the miracle of life.
-Bill Bryson
Don't ever frown because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
