But I can't tell if it's high school or my life...
I've been so stressed and scared lately... I've been crying about not graduating when people wouldn't be around... I need to graduate... But everyone tries to ruin it... Even myself... This morning, the dean lady said if I'm late again, she'll take my credits away... I want to stick a gun in her mouth and ask her to repeat it... I'm not staying here at this school past Friday... I can't come back... I'm done... If I can't graduate by Friday... I'm just going to kill myself... I'm done... I can't do this... I can't deal with this... I cannot cope with not graduating... I will literally die if I do not graduate... I'll OD, cut my neck open, anything to just die... I can't stay at this school past Friday... I just can't...
I know you probably don't care and won't reply to this... But if you read this, at least, you know what happened if I'm never on again past Friday... I'm sorry... I just can't deal with this... I need to graduate... I need to be worth something...
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
Hey I can hear there is a great deal of emotion going on for you right now, all tied up into graduating by Friday. Can I ask why Friday? It seems like you place a lot of worth into that but what would be so bad if you did have to graduate a bit later (not necessarily saying you will). Why do you think you might not graduate Friday?
Please take care and look after yourself during all this stress x
Yes, it would. Mom will kick me out if I do not walk.
This stupid research paper is in my way... I hate research papers...
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
If thats all thats in the way of such an important thing to you perhaps its a good thing! You may hate research paper but that doesn't mean you can't do it- lots of people manage to do things they dislike in order to achieve a larger goal. Would it help to write at the top of your draft or plan or stick it somewhere you will look that its this and then you graduate and mayve something motivational like a quote?
Not really. Motivational and cheery things tend to make me even more pissed off. :/
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
Is it only the paper you've got to do? It's only Wednesday, that gives you two days to get it done. If you're that determined, then it should be more than do-able. Work out what you have to do and a timescale for doing it, and sit down and do it.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
I'm not allowed on school grounds on Friday however. Seniors are suppose to be home or at the zoo on Friday. Plus, I need to take the final as well, so I need to finish the paper tonight to take the final tomorrow and be done with high school.
Major Depression | Asperger's Syndrome | Anxiety NOS | Hints of OCD
Close your eyes. Don't you cry. Love's around you. In time, you'll fly. Don't you worry about the dark. I will light up the night with the love in my heart. I will burn like the sun that will keep you safe and warm. Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away. With the touch of my hand, I will turn your life to GOLD!
So maybe you should take the, very wise, above advice, make a plan and get cracking? It sounds like finishing high school really does mean a lot to you, so can you use that as motivation?
