I've been told I am not severe enough for help?

brandle · 09-04-2018, 11:13 AM

Hi,

I'm unsure what I need to do in regards to getting help, I feel like I have a problem, but also feel like no professionals want to help me.

About 6 years ago, I started a diet which has never stopped - I was overweight before and wished to lose this. I started using an app on my phone to measure my calorie intake. This started my obsessive nature. About 6 months later, after going away to University, I was forced to quit and move back home and I was diagnosed with Atypical Anorexia. I had some form of help and slowly gained a bit more weight - my periods came back temporaliy for a year up till August 2016.

My periods stopped again from September 2016 and I have not had one since. My weight has dropped again to cause this (i think). I went back to my GP 6 months ago for some help and they referred me to my local IAPT service whom then referred me to the local eating disorer clinic. I went for an assessment and they said that I did not match their criteria. So now I am stuck - maybe I don't need help but my gut instinct is that I do.

Brief Description of my current/state/difficulties:
-No periods
-Obsession around food: I eat the same thing everyday at the same time. There is no flexibility.
-Although what I do eat is probably more than some people
-Some cuts made if I can/feeling stressed .e.g throwing parts away
-Exhausted/UTIs reoccuring
-Feel emotionally numb (not always)
-Think about food most of the day
-Google food a lot/recipes
-Encouraging everyone else to eat - feels like some kind of pleasure in doing so
-Eat alone preferably
-Weird palpatiations/muscle tics accross my body
-Breathing difficulties

However, the eating disorder service did not seem to be able to help as my cognitions do not match the typical. For example I know that I am not fat, I hate being skinny like I am but cannot bring myself to eat more. Its like a punishment. I get pleasure from food, so i restrict this pleasure.

I just am at that stage now that I want to be normal. I want to be able to have flexibility in food, enjoy holidays and I want a future. I want to be able to have a baby - but at the moment I feel like that is so far out of reach...

Auror. · 14-04-2018, 06:26 PM

Are there any other services you are eligible for even if not direct ED services? That was super brave of you to reach out to your GP and do the assessment. I cannot imagine how invalidating it must be to have gone through all of that and get turned away. It does sound like something is going on for you with regards to food and mental health.

Is your GP someone you feel you can trust? Can you bring up the medical issues you mention here to them? Also maybe you could go back to them and ask them what other options you might have? Assuming you're in the UK, you could also try charities like beat to see if they might have some suggestions?

i.am.me · 06-06-2018, 04:36 AM

First thing hun, I can assure that it's not that professionals "don't want" to help you. Your situation is a tricky one, unfortunately hospital admission and immediate help is hard to find and yes, again unfortunately, it depends on weight and makes no helpful sense.
It holds the same logic as gastric surgery; if you are overweight you can get NHS gastric surgery. BUT, you have to be a certain weight to get it....so people gain weight to achieve goals. ED treatment is similar, you need to be a certain weight for certain help options, and people lose weight to get this help.
It's not a great system.

But, yes, any eating disorder is hard to overcome, but it is 100% possible, even without intense support from a service. I'll admit, the ED thoughts may not ever go away, for a lot of people (including me) they linger forever. What changes is your ability to process/ignore/allow them. That 'powerful ED voice' will be there, but it will be powerless and easy to defeat.

The bottom line is; if you feel like you need help then you need help, no matter where it is from, accept it. Help grows and builds around you.
Just cause you are not suitable for an ED service doesn't mean that you are helpless. There are so many services. All I'll say is; you can help you. You are in charge.
Just keep persisting.

Sorry I can't solve you xx