I'm losing my mind....

[Kasai]

I haven't been here in years. I'm exhausted. I have my dream job. But I'm losing my head. My therapist thinks I'm bipolar(again) and I'm trying so hard to manage it without hard medication. I feel like restricting and self harming, and I know that's just a way of coping and ignoring the real problem, but I don't know what else I can really do.... I'm losing my mind...I feel so stupid....I was better....I should be better.... but I'm not.

[Unbreakable.]

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling.

I hope his is okay to ask - why is it so important to you to manage things without medication? If those have helped in the past taking them again might be beneficial. But I know that people have reasons for not wanting to.

I also understand it is easier said than done, but can you use the fact that you were better as evidence that you can get well again?

[Kasai]

Medication hasn't really ever worked. I don't want to go on that rollercoaster of trying to find that balance again. It would also imply that something is actually "wrong" with me? I'm trying to give myself more structure in hopes that it will help me stay focused. Days aren't so bad, but nights are almost unbearable.