Triggering (SI) - So mad at myself

[MayaAmita]

So with everything going on I stressed myself out so much that yesterday I got vertigo/migrine and boss said to go home. Went to the doc he gave me shots and knocked me out over 12 hrs, but now better no headache and things stay where should. A bit woozy still.

I'm mad cause yesterday nite after I was asleep then woke up I started freaking and cut. After about 6 wks I cut again. Not good either. Then went back to sleep without taking care of it, and woke up recently and realized what I did.

So mad, I'm so stupid. I actually went a year free before, but ended that too. I always seem to come back. With all the family stress I'm kinda suprised I didn't SI this weekend and thought I could handle it, but I'm making myself sick.

And the sedatives are still in my system so I'm kinda outta it still, emotionless.

Am (hiding)

[wyngednight]

im sorry :( so, so sorry :( wish i could poof make everything well again
email if you need, im always in for a talk :D
love you <3

[~SuNsHiNe~]

i know its a cliche but relapse really is a part of the recovery process, i know how frustrating it can be (trust me, ive been there) but please try not to beat yourself up about it, you did the best you could at the time and noone can ask anymore than that of you, the fact that youve had long breaks between SHing is a fantastic achievement, and you should be proud of that. feel free to pm me if you want to chat more, hope you feel better soon:)