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04-05-2013, 05:13 AM
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#1
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Join Date: Sep 2012
I am currently:  
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What am I thinking? *trigger warning*
So my tool of choice is a pair of scissors that are really pointy. It is getting so bad that I cannot get to sleep unless they are in my hand. I am considering swapping to a blade so that I can cut deeper. What is wrong with me? Why don't I want to stop?
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04-05-2013, 08:59 AM
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#2
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★ Katie ★
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Worcester, UK
I am currently: 
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It takes a lot to take the step of deciding you want to stop self-harming when it's been a support for you.
Do you have any support or anyone you can speak to about it?
I think deep down you do want to stop otherwise you wouldn't have reached out - I'm guessing you're probably just nervous of taking that big step.
Can you try exchanging your tool for something safe to hold as a small step?
x x x
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♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
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04-05-2013, 01:55 PM
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#3
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK
I am currently: 
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The deeper you cut the less you feel. My bez mate cut very deep on the inside of the top of her arm under her armpit. She really regrets this, it didnt help or feel better. Other than all her small scars she has this huge one which cant really be hidden. If your looking for reliefe you wont find it under the skin.
I hope this changes your mind xxx
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04-05-2013, 03:54 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Sep 2012
I am currently:
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I have stopped in the past... I stopped for 5 years but now I just can't see the point. I don't have anyone I feel I can talk to about my SI because most of my friends don't know about my past struggles with it. I guess I'm reaching out because I know I should want to stop... I just don't know if I'm ready too.
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04-05-2013, 10:59 PM
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#5
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Saffyx
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: UK
I am currently: 
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You shouldn't want to stop and you should try not to put that pressure on yourself to stop.
Being ready to stop will happen for you when its time and for a variety of reasons.
It can be hard to want to stop when you feel like it is the only thing helping you cope, and because it is addictive and also because it seems like there is no alternative.
Are you getting any professional support?
Because without dealing with the underlying cause you also may not want to stop because things are still very difficult for you and hard to manage.
Take care xxx
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♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed.
Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
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07-05-2013, 07:16 PM
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#6
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a mirror that reflects it
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Upstate New York
I am currently: 
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perhaps rather than focusing on stopping right now, you could focus on learning and practicing other coping skills (positive ones) in addition to harming, so that when the time comes that you do want to stop, you'll already be set up to do that
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this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)
Katie
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