Trying to make waves in getting better, wow what a failure!TW

stephsparkle · 04-05-2015, 10:10 PM

For quite a while now I've been trying to make huge steps in getter better however my head has gone into overdrive. I am failing miserably and my head is in overdrive.

I have tried to keep things on the straight and narrow, only problem is that my team are misinterpreting progress and where we should be going with things. I have now been left in a difficult situation which is fuelling my ED. I've upped my excersize and using diet coke as a crutch. I have always said that I would try but if I'm really honest I don't think I'm ever going to get really far with this as every time I see my ED team and get weighed, it sends me into a spin and I'm struggling to deal with it.

On the plus side I'm trying eat more vegetables and looking at alternatives to carbs. Got my next appointment with all my care team incl my ed consultant on Wednesday.What should be a positive meeting about coming to a clear agreed plan to tackle my issues, I fear that my poker face way of dealing with things will be exposed. I cannot go on like this. It has to end.

Too Shy · 06-05-2015, 06:03 PM

Hey,

Firstly, well done for trying to make steps in getting better! It is ok to struggle and need more support sometimes, and the most important thing is that you keep being honest with your team at the moment. Could you talk to them about the struggles you're having with getting weighed there?

Please do try to look after yourself re. the exercise and Diet Coke. I can very much relate to both of those things, but try to hold on to the positive things you can get from recovery that turning back to your ED won't let you do.

How are you doing now? x

stephsparkle · 15-05-2015, 11:15 PM

Hi sorry for late rely but I'm currently being held on s2 for what they say is due to my ED. I have tried to be honest with my team but unfortunately it hasn't worked. I'm appealing my section as I believe the circumstances which led me to being sectioned had nothing to do with my current situation. I'm on 1 to 1 ova which is getting to me a little but R is my everything and so is S they have both been so supportive and they are holding me back from giving in but thanks once again for the reply I never no if I will get a reply or not when I post so it has made me smile TC

Pi.R^2 · 16-05-2015, 07:21 PM

Why are you appealing your section? Is it because you disagree on the link between things that led to the situation and your current situation, or do you genuinely think you don't need to be in hospital at all? Have they explained to you what they think would happen if you were not in hospital?

Thinking of you?

stephsparkle · 16-05-2015, 10:32 PM

Hi

I'm appealing my section as I don't think the two situations are linked and placing me in hospital was wrong. It was obs day today but I'm in the general side as my bloods are bad an so are my kidneys. Don't want to be here but being on section means I've no choice in the matter will try to keep you all updated thanks for replies xxx

Pi.R^2 · 17-05-2015, 06:24 PM

Given that your bloods and kidneys aren't doing to well, doesn't it sound like hospital is necessary right now, regardless of the details of the section?

stephsparkle · 18-05-2015, 10:41 AM

Not much to update you on, just waiting for the doctors to decide what their plan is. They tried to get a blood test but they couldn't as my veins are really bad so I don't know anything else right now all I know is that I want to go home xxx

Pi.R^2 · 04-06-2015, 09:27 PM

How are you doing now now Steph? Hope they managed to get your blood taken in the end and that you're doing ok!

stephsparkle · 24-06-2015, 01:31 AM

So after what seems like forever,my ED consultant has referred me to Vincent Square for an assessment. Im currently on S3 and have had quite s few admissions to the general hospital for fluids and various other stuff to stablise me. My ward consultant wants me to go somewhere where they can deal with things better than on the ward I'm on as it is just an acute ward. The assessment is today I think but I'm so anxious I spent most of last night pacing the ward but tonight the staff told me that I couldn't so I've been pacing in my room. To add to this a very close member of my family passed away on Monday morning and they won't let me go home to be with my family. I will just have to wait and see what the outcome is and hopefully they will let me go home straight after. My blood sugars are all over the place but thankfully I've avoided any possible admission to the general hospital for now. I just want to go home now and hope that the ward consultant will take me off s3 and I can get my life back. Hope all is well with everyone

Pi.R^2 · 02-07-2015, 09:33 AM

Sorry to hear that you lost a family member.

I hope the assessment went well the other day?

stephsparkle · 04-07-2015, 01:06 AM

Hi further update for you all, the assessment didn't go ahead some some reason that both myself the ward consultant and my cc couldn't work out so I went home to be with the family for a couple of days. I would then come back once they knew a date for an assessment. However home leave did not go well at all so I can back early with the promise of returning for the funeral. I was told that my ED consultant wanted to assess me before Vincent square offers me an assessment to see how things are but I had a total melt down over being weighed which took a nasty turn so she has just bypassed her review and I will see the Vincent square team on Monday 6th July so petrified as I'm sure I'm too fat to become a patient of theirs! The staff here really don't understand how I really feel and think that by me trying to eat isn't a reason to have a melt down as no one forced me so I'm upset and confused xxx