this sucks

[goose_kid]

Hey!
I have struggled with eating issues for a lot of my life, but it wasn?t until around 2 years ago that I was finally diagnosed with both anorexia and bulimia. Since getting diagnosed, I have gotten a lot of help and have recovered a lot in the past years. I feel as though all of this progress is kind of going down the drain, as I am beginning to relapse. I feel very guilty about it, which in turn keeps me from reaching out. I feel as though I have let down all that have helped me get to where I am today, and if I tell them that I am struggling again they will be disappointed or even angry. I know that reaching out will help prevent me from spiraling any deeper, but it?s still hard. Does anyone else feel like this?

[Pinkcrusade]

Yo! You are completely not alone on that - ed's can hang around in the back of the mind for a while. I know it feels kinda stupid to feel like you're "over" something and then fall back, because everyone was already proud for the progress and now it's like do they need to take it back?? But the answer is that they dont. They wont. You did it once, and you can do it again. It's a really trashy feeling, and relapsing can feel like a prolonged, never-ending horror show, but I would dig into a singular coping skill to drag a spiral to a halt. Maybe reach out to one person to start, and get support to clean the slate. If people get mad about it, theyre wrong and they dont understand how this works. But yeah I would work first on *halting* the spiral before trying to move on/ignore it - like Eternal Flame suggested. U got this, and pls reach out if you need more help :)