I've got work and commissions coming out of my ears.
Actually do not know what to do.
It makes me feel really good, but at the same time I can't handle it.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
I feel really hurt by you, I really do but how can I say when I like you so much? After everything you've done for me, I felt I couldn't say you were hurting me in the last few weeks. Gah, I'm sorry.
I'm really lonely, I can't talk to you anymore, I can't do physical contact, even hugging, because it's been so long, I just can't do it. I feel so lonely and I'd do anything to not feel this.
You make these jokes about sex, ask me personal questions and things and I KNOW it's banter but when you say "I definitely don't want to fuck you" infront of everyone else, that kind of upsets me. It's not that I want to 'fuck you' because I don't. TBH I wouldn't care either way because I don't care/see sex as a 'special thing' BUT it kinda stamped on my self esteem a little and reminds me of being at school and I never want to be in that place again.
I know this banter is all fun and games but it is actually slightly hurting me.
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
See Marie? You are a waste of space.
Waste. Of. Space.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
i dont want to be here without you!!! why wont you talk to me!!
i wish i never looked at your profile. it hurts me still that you are so fucking happy(with her). what did i do wrong? why did you hurt ME so bad and then treat her like fucking royalty. god i feel like im snapping. just like when i was with you. and yet, i fucking miss you!!!
To whoever's been saying stuff about me-- quit it. Maybe I don't know you, (and maybe it's multiple people,) but it still seems to hurt a little with each new rumor or blow. Can nobody mind their own business anymore? I already know I'm a freak. But I'm not a freak in those ways you're chalking me up to be. Seriously- where did you get the idea that I'm lesbian? Where did you hear those sorely wrong things about Patrick and I? Oh, and I like the one about me having special needs, or that I'm goth/emo. To set the record straight: No, I don't have a thing for other girls. Patrick and I are friends, and nothing more. I don't have special needs- I'm just a very awkward and not very social person. As for the whole "emo" thing... I don't know. It depends on your definition. Anyhow, why don't you just quit spreading this stuff around.
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Your questions are kinda starting to scare me . You never cared before... and now? Why now? What do you know? Or if you don't know, then what do you suspect? Did you see anything? Just whatever you do... don't report me. Already happened once (that I know of) this year, and I don't need it to happen again. Making me so nervous...
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I told you about my diagnosis, right? Thought I did. "Major depression and anxiety." So... that probably explains it :) Though that's a kinda lame excuse, I know. But perhaps it's the easy way out, rather than telling you how much I've been scaring myself lately. There've been nights that I had myself pretty convinced that I'd wake up in the hospital the next morning with the whole charcoal thing... if I were to wake up at all. Explain that to you? I think not. And for the record- you still can't make me care. Sure, you can try, but I don't think it'll happen. I'm so detached right now, and I don't think there's much going back.
Oh, and just another thing-- told you so.
"God take me, because I hate me" -Underoath
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, and students. We have depression, PTSD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some not. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every race or religion that you can think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks.
The level of How Much I Hate Myself Today is laughably high.
I just... I don't even know.
I am ready to go now.
Now I'll play your ghost as my ace, whenever I'm led astray.
But I am actually good, can't help it if we're tilted.
I'm in my right place, don't be a downer.
. You never cared before... and now? Why now? What do you know? Or if you don't know, then what do you suspect? Did you see anything? Just whatever you do... don't report me. Already happened once (that I know of) this year, and I don't need it to happen again. Making me so nervous...
