*Hugs Kat* Well done for cutting down on the alcohol, I know how hard it is, so I'm proud of you :) And I'm sure your mum understands about the hug, she loves you so she's not going to take it too much to heart.
Hana - Well done! That's three of us trying to be good girls :P I know it wont last for me, as soon as I have more money I'll be straight down the offie or the pub! *Hugs back*
Dayna - What have you done before that has stopped the void? If you've gone a long time without being spacey, there must be something you've done to stop it? Keep fighting.
*Hugs Katie* Do you mean you never did the essay or never sent it to her? If you never sent it to her, just send it to her now and keep quiet. If you haven't actually done the essay, I think you're going to have to come clean. If you have a good excuse for not doing it, make sure you tell her.
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I had really horrible dreams that were really triggering. Just waking up made me feel better. I don't feel triggered...much...anymore, but can't get those stupid dreams out of my head.
I have to go to the Jobcentre today, but I really really don't want to leave the house on my own...Feeling paranoid about the spies. But I guess I'll have to go if I want money. I think I'll stop into a pub on the way to ask about a job vacancy they have. I've been there twice to ask, but the landlord was never there. Third times a charm right?
Yeah I never did it.. it's just.. I had another big essay due the same time and I had forgotten about the essay.. although I did email the person 'looking after me' about it like 2 weeks before it I think but never heard back then forgot about it. I'm not trying to look for excuses or anything, I will admit I never did it. I just.. I've never not done an assignment before :( I guess I will just tell her what happened *sigh*
*hugs arwen* dreams are horrid, glad your feeling better though. Good luck heading out. Third time is definately a charm so I hope there's something for you there. Take care :)
*hugs zowie* good luck on getting out and i agree third times the charm for that pub :)
*hugs BigBear* be brave and tell her what happened im sure she'll be understanding
*hugs to all others on the ward*
What i want to know is how come i dont feel any better, i've been like this for a month now and its just not happening *curls up in a corner and bangs head into the wall*
**** **** ****. I was meant to go for an interview at the Jobcentre at 11:30 to discuss keeping my JSA. I've missed it. I'm praying they'll let me do it when I go to sign on later, if not I'm going to be turned down for the next two weeks' payments.
****.
*hugs zowie* keep calm hunny, explain to them how difficult it is to leave the house and how your feeling at the moment and im sure you'll be ok *more hugs*
Phew. I called them up and explained, and they gave me an appointment at 2:30. I got there in time, had the interview and singed on.
One downside: Went to the pub with the vacancy and she said it was filled at the weekend! Arrrghh! I went there twice to be told the landlord wasn't there, but not to worry as the applications close on the 20th. I feel really paranoid that she just looked at me and said the position was filled because she didn't like the look of me.
Hey all, sorry but I'm not up to individual replies, but I wanted to partake in a group hug and let you know I am paying attention to whats going on. My day of rest and hoping to reduce my M.E symptoms today didn't go according to plan as my best mate needed me to help her find out what spirit was in her flat -and not an alcoholic one! lol. So thats drained me. Anyhoo, got to visit family tomorrow so hopefully I'll be bag giving hugs and happy and recharged on wed....til then.....
*GROUP HUGGLE!!*
"All battles in life serve to teach us something, even the battles we lose"
"There are moments in life when the only possible option is to lose control"
*hugs Ecelctica* hope you get more sleep soon honey
*hugs vicki* whats up sweetie?
*hugs zowie* glad everything went ok at the js! sorry to hear about the pub, i dont think it was you though.
*joins in crazy haley's group huggle* hope you enjoy time with your family :)
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I'm in a s****y mood my voices are back with avengance i can't seem to shake my depression and i want to cut. I think my parents are getting fed up with me
Dayna - What have you done before that has stopped the void? If you've gone a long time without being spacey, there must be something you've done to stop it? Keep fighting.
Well when I'm not spacey, I ain't really fighting it. Dunno how to describe it. I only really have to concentrate on fighting it when I do feel spacey. Does that make any sense? :/
damnit i want to cut, cant resits the urges this time, why the hell do i have be so tempmental, and so argumentive, damn me, jill you are a frigging screw up. quit being so god dam bitchy. argh!!!! i hate me so much. cries
Hi everybody. Sorry I've been so quiet recently but I've been unable to type due to the shoulder surgery. I'm now allowed to move my arm a little bit and have been pushing the boundaries and learning what my shoulder can do. At this stage I cannot do anything that requires lifting my arm. On the good side next week on Monday I should get my cast off for good, of course depending on the results of the x-ray. Getting the x-ray is going to be a painful experience as it requires them to place my arm in several positions that will put my shoulder in positions it doesn't like. If I don't get my cast put back on I'm going to miss my glow-in-the-dark wrist.
I had a really bad day a little while back when I received from the police a letter and a fine for the car accident I had when I had a seizure while driving. For the first time in almost 11 months I felt like cutting. I very nearly did cut but somehow managed to get through with the help of my flatmates. We have decided that I should contest the fine through the court system because the accident was caused by a medical condition and I was not in control of my own body and therefore the accident was out of my control.
I'm sorry for writing so much about myself and not replying to everybody individually but know that I am thinking of you all and I read as much as I can. I hope that things improved to everybody.
*goes around to everybody in the ward, even those hiding in corners and in the the smoking corner and also in the denial tent, and gives them a nice warm hug and leaves behind hot chocolates for those in the cold climate and nice cold drinks for those suffering from heat issues.*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
Well good news. I get to do the essay so I won't fail :D So I will be popping in but won't be posting much. I get till Monday to do it :D And it's great coz I'm seeing a friend on Thursday whos course kinda overlaps so I'm going to ask if I can borrow some books.
Kahlia don't be sorry about writing about yourself. Hope you can get the cast off :D and I hope its healing alright :) Well done for not cutting :D *cuddles* you've done so well :D Take care of yourself!
Katie - that's good news about the essay. I hope you do well. I also hope my arm is healing right ...
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
I've been camping with my horses for the past couple days, as a birthday gift to myself, and as a way to unwind from all the stresses at home and at work. Viejo and Charlie really enjoyed getting out of the paddock and I enjoyed just getting out and being with nothing but the two of them.
Been kind of on the manic side of happy, but pretty good and stable otherwise.
*MASSIVE HUGS to everyone, and positive energies as well*
I've been camping with my horses for the past couple days, as a birthday gift to myself, and as a way to unwind from all the stresses at home and at work. Viejo and Charlie really enjoyed getting out of the paddock and I enjoyed just getting out and being with nothing but the two of them.
Been kind of on the manic side of happy, but pretty good and stable otherwise.
*MASSIVE HUGS to everyone, and positive energies as well*
That sounds like a lot of fun. Thanks for the hugs and positive energy, I really need both right now.
*hugs all*
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
Sorry I haven't been around much this past week, I've been so poorly. I came home yesterday, two days later than orginally planned but it gave me & Jade the opportunity to get out the house and do some of what was orginally planned (but not set in stone) when dicussing the trip anyway.
However, I've been crying pretty much nearly every waking moment since Friday afternoon, well evening. Poor Jade must be so sick of it, I know I am, it's beginning to send me in asthma/panic attacks now :S I almost got to the point of cutting last night (despite having not done it in nearly two weeks) just to shut myself up and sleep. Really really struggling to sleep at the moment, espically last night, but then I was trying to sleep at 10.30, something my body hasn't done in so long. But I am so exhausted. Although I was asleep around 12.30am and slept until nearly 11am, even if I woke couple of times during the night.
Still really poorly and very low. So fed up of it now. Doesn't help certain things either. Just shoot me? Or give me a new body until mine feels healthy again???? I haven't eaten a full dinner, let alone a proper one, since last Sunday (not two days ago, but the one before that). I miss it. I tried last night with garlic bread, pizza & potato waffles, barely ate it and lost my temper with mum.
I'm so ****ing frusrated to the point I'm crying...AGAIN!!!!
*hands Helen big box of tissues* Oh sweetie, its horrid when you feel so ill and can't stop crying. I know I wonder how I don't dehydrate from all the tears somehow. Wish I could wave magic wand for you to make you better, but instead you'll have to settle for a huggle *huggles Helen*
Kahlia - good news on the progress on your shoulder so far, was wondering where you'd gotten to! Thats so shitty the police sedning you a fine for something that was out of your control!! Its not like you thought "oh I'm gonna have a seizure in a lil bit, so I think I'll go out in my car and cause a crash" stupid stupid police fine system. I'm glad your flatmates were there to help you through the urges to cut, well done on overcoming them! *huggles*
*huggles Shadowseraph* glad you liked the group huggle. I didn't end up seeing family today as staying clear of the town they live in as Swine Flu has just killed a man there!! And my father works in the hospital and my immune system is comprimised, so I really don't fancy taking my chances, life seems to have it in for me enough without me putting myself into situations like that, lol!!! Hope the voices have quietened down now and I'm sure you're parents aren't getting fed up of you at all. Hang in there.
*huggles ShadowedSoul* I hope you've stayed safe. Please don't hate yourself and punish yourself with cutting (though I know I've done that a thousand times over, so easier said than done) but we in here don't hate you and we don't want you to be unsafe. Talk to us and we may be able to help? Or if its a lot thats going on, perhaps start a thread or go into distractions?
*huggles dayna/todlich* hope you're feeling less spacey now. And can I just say, what do you want to be called now? Have you changed your name?! Cos I'm sure you were dayna but now you're todlich? CrazyHayley is confuzzled....
*huggles Katie* Glad the pickle with your essay got sorted out. We'll look forward to you posting more again once you've completed the assignment. Hope it goes ok for you. What are you studying by the way?
*huggles Jazz* I'm glad you had a safe couple of days away with your horses, sounds like it did you the world of good. I'm pleased for you.
*goes out to the smoking shelter to find Arwen for a fag and a huggle*
"All battles in life serve to teach us something, even the battles we lose"
"There are moments in life when the only possible option is to lose control"
