Is my daughter's reaction to her mom rightfully having to serve a jail sentence normal?

D6789 · 25-05-2017, 04:05 AM

I Think am going to take my 15 daughter to visit her mom who is in jail for eight months for a financial crime. Just looking for a good time. There are just a few more things I wonder
1. I managed to talk to one of the main guards that works at that jail. She said that since my daughter is a teenagers it is perfectly fine to take her. She also said use it as a learning experience (what does that mean do you think), and to simply present it as a punishment for wrong doing. What do you think about this?

2, my wife says bring her if she would like to and my daughter says she would like to but I don't know if it is a good idea. I am surprised my wife did not flat out say no. Does this show that she thinks it won't be so bad or that she wants to see her so badly that she doesn't mind her daughter seeing anything bad?

3. my daughter does want to go . She seems kind of jokey about the simy daughter does not seem scared but instead seems excited and enthusiastic to visit. This is strange to me. Do you find this normal? My daughter seems to find the idea of her mom wearing a uniform, sharing a room funny. I wonder why she would think it is funny. Interestingly they have a good relationship

do you think my daughter feels it is kind of interesting to see the inside of a jail but not be a prisoner there?

D6789 · 25-05-2017, 06:14 AM

I Think am going to take my 15 daughter to visit her mom who is in jail for eight months for a financial crime. Just looking for a good time. There are just a few more things I wonder
1. I managed to talk to one of the main guards that works at that jail. She said that since my daughter is a teenagers it is perfectly fine to take her. She also said use it as a learning experience (what does that mean do you think), and to simply present it as a punishment for wrong doing. What do you think about this?

2, my wife says bring her if she would like to and my daughter says she would like to but I don't know if it is a good idea. I am surprised my wife did not flat out say no. Does this show that she thinks it won't be so bad or that she wants to see her so badly that she doesn't mind her daughter seeing anything bad?

3. my daughter does want to go . She seems kind of jokey about the simy daughter does not seem scared but instead seems excited and enthusiastic to visit. This is strange to me. Do you find this normal? My daughter seems to find the idea of her mom wearing a uniform, sharing a room funny. I wonder why she would think it is funny. Interestingly they have a good relationship

do you think my daughter feels it is kind of interesting to see the inside of a jail but not be a prisoner there?

Sketchy · 25-05-2017, 12:17 PM

Maybe her joking is hiding what she's really feeling. Perhaps she's just putting a brave face.

It might shock her and make her treat it more seriously when she gets there.

Just talk to her about it if you are worried.

Ballerina123 · 25-05-2017, 02:35 PM

At 15 I think I would have joked about because I wouldnt have been totally clear on what type of emotion I would have felt.

Also your daughter could be interested about what is going on with her mum and also want to see her mum and see how she is. She likely misses her. Regardless of the crime there will be a bond there and dispite any lessons she may or may not learn she might just wanna see her mum, which we all need.

D6789 · 27-05-2017, 06:59 AM

What would you say is the main benefit in vists over phone calls?

Iamcatbug · 27-05-2017, 06:28 PM

Sometimes it can be nicer to see someone than to hear the over the phone.

Tautology · 29-05-2017, 03:03 AM

Outside of anything complicating your daughter's emotions, it seems normal enough to me, take her.

She's 15. Not quite an adult but not a kid anymore. She has the mental capacity and maturity to understand what's going on.

There doesn't seem to be much there to protect her from. She knows her mother committed a crime. She knows her mother is in jail. She (most likely) knows jails aren't a rosy place where everything is nice.

If you're concerned that she seems happy to go visit her mother, consider that she's well, going to see her mother. Also she's 15, 15 year olds aren't exactly known for their mental maturity.