Feeling awful

[one_step_closer]

I'm glad you were cheered up by your friend, it's often really helpful to do an activity with someone you get on well with. It's great that you have a more positive attitude now and I hope you can hold on to that. You can get through this.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks for your kind words Lindsay.

[long road]

How are things today Dawn?

[not_so_insig]

I am feeling slightly better thanks Jen. Still feeling low however. Yet to harm myself.

[Ahimsa]

I'm glad you're feeling slightly better

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Beth.

[one_step_closer]

You are really great with not self harming, I hope you can see that and keep up your amazing work no matter what your brain says or how you are feeling.

[long road]

Well done for managing not to self harm. Still just having the thoughts even when you don't act on them can be distressing so I hope they pass or at least reduce in intensity soon.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Lindsay and Jen for your kind words. Since I last posted I am still suicidal but as each day passes I feel a but better mentally. I am sleeping very well which is helping with my mood.

When I saw my cpn last she suggested that perhaps I should go back on antidepressants. I am beginning to think that I am depressed and that it's a good idea. I don't see her for a few weeks so I will see how I feel when I see her next.

[one_step_closer]

I'm glad you are at least gradually feeling a bit better and getting a good sleep. Not so good about feeling suicidal though. I hope things continue to improve and if you need to go on antidepressants they are helpful.

[not_so_insig]

Thanks Lindsay. S told me it's only temporary these feelings.

[not_so_insig]

I have yet to harm myself. Chances are that I won't so thank you to everyone who has given their support on this thread. I do feel low and tired but not suicidal. The holidays are hard. Even though I have had some lovely presents. The thought of seeing my cat again is keeping me going.

[maii]

You're very welcome and I'm glad you stuck around on both the forum and in real life.

[not_so_insig]

Sorry to bump. Basically my dad had a go at me for buying a cat monopoly set and said that i will get in trouble for spending my money on rubbish. But I don't think that the dwp cares what I spend my money on and I think that it's better than stuff i could harm myself with. I feel like harming myself because he's made me feel awful. At the end of the day it's my money and I have enough money for bills. I am not in debt either. He's also had a go at my eating which is making me feel like restricting.

[Zurg]

It's not like anyone actually ever improved at anything by being shamed by their relatives. Dawn, it's your money and it's your life and you have the right to decide what you want to prioritise money wise and health wise. Some people don't understand that because the struggles seem simple and easy to solve in their minds.
It's not you. Your dad is old fashioned. If he really thought about the words coming out of his mouth, i Think he might realise that he is not helping anything, at all.
You live your own life, Dawn. And you do it to the best of your ability. And maybe that's not good enough for everyone but as long as it's good enoughfor you then screw everyone else!!! <3

[not_so_insig]

Thanks zurg. You are right in that my dad is old fashioned. At the end of the day it's my money and he would soon complain if I spent on illegal drugs. He says and does a lot of stuff that's not helpful in my recovery.

[one_step_closer]

I agree with Kat. Is there a way that you can try to put the things he says to one side and remind yourself that it's just his opinion? I know it can be hurtful though. How are you today?

[not_so_insig]

I am ok but that's because I have my cat back and am in my flat. So far I am busying myself trying to find homes for my presents and doing some laundry.

[one_step_closer]

I'm glad your cat is back, is he settling back ok? Well done for trying to keep occupied.

[not_so_insig]

No he keeps on constantly meowing. At first it was because he was hungry but he has had lots of food so that's not the problem. He has had tons of fuss. I am hoping he's just unsettled after his holiday and that he will be back to his usual self and routine tomorrow.