How do we accept what’s happened in our life and move on?
I wish I new the answer to that. I wish I could find the answer to that as I’ve been trying for so long now.
How do we get to the stage when the past doesn’t rule the present anymore. When is the point when you can finally say goodbye to what has happened and move on. When is the day when you stop feeling suicidal, and want to live your life. Because im so fed up and tired of searching for this ‘hope’ when there is no guarantee I will ever find it.
I#ve tried to block it and move on, but it only made me go backwards. It didn’t do anything positive, it’s still there, I’m still here, and I’ve still not moved on. Nothing in my head has changed. I’m still being held down by it all. I know i will never be able to accept what has happened to me. What he did. What's happened since he's gone. I know i will never ever forgive him or her, so that surely means i'm stuvk like this doesn't it?
I need no know how to move on. Just I need to either get out of this or get out completely. I just need something.
Please? Anyone know?
I wish I knew the answer. Sorry I can't offer any advice because I am still looking for this "hope" that i'll probley never find too. Thank you for writing this. Would you mind if i took the first bit and gave it to my doctor tomrrow because it descibes me so well and how i feel. I am sorry though :( I wish I knew too :'(
*hugs* i honestly have no idea, but just wanted to remind you that my msn/pm are always on if you wanna chat :)
or you could just call me ;)
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
Heya,
First of all let me say that i'm really sorry that you're having to go through all of this, when we've been abused there is never, ever any easy answers!
Now you say that you're trying to block it out what happened, rather than that have you talked openly to anyone about this, by that i mean a psychologist, psychiatrist gp, anyone! Because we have to be able to talk so that the root of the poison can be lanced and the slow healing process can begin!
What has happened, however horrible is a part of us and instead of trying to block it out sometimes its better that we try and incorporate that part of us into our personality and grow from it andf use the lessons that that has taught us, by that i mean it can give us a better understanding and empqathy when recognising others pain and suffering and therefore sometimes better equipped to help!
But before u can even look at any of that we have to have govne through , the healing process (as much as we ever can for things like this)
I'm sorry you're struggling just now, keep talking to us if it helps.
As for moving on, I'm sorry to say there is no set way. No one can tell you how to do it, there is no how to. I know that's not what you want to here, but sadly, it's true. You have to find your own way.
Blocking things out probably won't help, as you've realised. Do you have a counsellor who you can talk to about everything? That can help some people. Even if it's not a counsellor, a best or good friend? Someone who you trust enough to tell and who you can talk to at any time?
Just want to thank each and every one of you who have replied on here and through pm. You all make good sense. And i know trying to block it out isn't the most wise thing to do, i just want anything to take what's in my head away. Granted it didn't work, so it was useless. I just wish i could just forgive and forget, but i can't. But i really do want to just to not be under his and her power anymore. I want to be myself. Lead my own life.
Thanks again, i didn't expect to get so many replies, so thanks to everyone.
I catch glimpses of it every so often, but you will only find it if you work to get through your issues rather than blocking them (as so many of the people on here have said). You've been hurt in the past, yes. Things have been utterly horrible for you, yes. *gentle hugs* But you will be able to accept all of that in time, accept it as part of your past, and while it may still influence how you think and feel, you'll be past the immediate pain of it all, and will be able to cope healthily without always thinking about it.
I hope that makes some sense. Please give therapy a shot - it can do wonders. It will help if you do the work that it provides.
Hang tough, and I'm here if you need to talk. xx
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
