Rant - When are you really recovered?

[breathe-me]

Sorry, i haven't been on here for a while i guess i am 'getting better'
as stupid as it sounds i don't even though what that means.
does it mean you don't feel triggered anymore or you have better ways of coping?
Yes i've been a lot better lately, it's been almost six months and i'm really happy with myself for that, it's something i didn't think i would acheive, but i did.
It's just, as sick and disgusting as this sounds, i guess i 'miss it' well not miss it, part of me feels like i need to even though i'm not particularly triggered, if that makes any sense?
Does this mean i am recovering, or messed up for 'missing' the very thing that has been controlling my life for almost three years
sorry i just needed to get this off my chest

[Kitkat :)]

It doesn't sound sick or disgusting, I know exactly what you mean. It does make sense, I do it because I need to, I don't particularly want to, but I feel like I need to. You're not messed up, it's natural to miss something that was a big part of your life and made you feel good when you were low.
Don't beat yourself up over missing it, it's natural to, you should be very proud of yourself that you haven't done it for so long :)
Keep up the good work, I'm proud of you for not doing it for six months after you did it for 3 years :)

[Everything is fine]

I know exactly what you mean too. I miss it sometimes when i'm frustrated or angry. But I miss it sometimes for no apparant reason. But then it is an addiction after all.

I'd say give it time. Thats what I'm doing. Just make sure you don't give in in the meantime :)

[BrokenSmiles]

I honestly don't know if i can say that you can be recovered you can be recovering. But the thoughts are pretty much always going to be there I think. I haven't cut in 2 and a half years but yet think about it still and have urges nad want to so I don't know.

[when.will.it.end]

I'm exactly the same. I think you have to keep going through missing it and find other things that you care about just as much as you cared about that stuff and then you wont miss it anymore. And it has got easier (I'm almost a year free but still get urges) over time, urges and thoughts get less and other things fill it. It'll come, you're doing great.

[madetomeasure]

i know exactly what you mean, hopefully it will get better over time (i'm waiting to get there) i think it's just that it has been such a large part of your life for so long that it is natural to miss it (not in a nostalgic way or even a longing) and it's definitely a positive step that you're not acting on it, i think it's a hard hurdle to overcome but you shouldn't feel bad about it, maybe that energy can be channelled elsewhere?

congratulations on nearing six months, stay strong.
xxxx

[breathe-me]

Thankyou everyone
xx

[Miss Kiss]

i havent habitually cut in about 6 years and sometimes i still miss it. but i will tell you that those feelings get less and less as time goes on its not something i would really even think about doing anymore (usually) and as for triggers... i find that now a days it take aloooottt to trigger me graphic photographs of razor cuts will give me that sick feeling in my stomach but thats about it and honestly thats easy enough to stay away from.... im not sure it ever goes away i think its something you will always carry with you but as time marches on it becomes less and less of a burden and more of a memory. i wish you strength, peace and luck... you are so much stronger than you know and congrats on goin 6 months!!