I thought things were getting better. I started a new medicine about three weeks ago, and it seems to be helping. So I don't know why I'm still so upset. I told my mom that I didn't want to be alive, and she told me to shut up. She said, "Your life isn't even bad. You have no reason to want to die." And lately, my best friend and I have been getting into a lot of arguments. She has depression and self harms, too. Well..the other day, I told her that maybe we should take a break for a while. Maybe then the arguments would stop. She calls me two days later, and basically says that she's sick of my crap. And ended our friendship. She said, "Do you know why everyone leaves you? Because you don't treat people how they should be treated. You're rude." She's right. Ten years of friendship. Done. I feel more alone than ever. I want to hurt myself or..something. I don't know why I'm still here. Sorry.
You're hurting dear =( No one has the right to tell you you aren't.
Please hang on. If you apologize to your friend and explain that you've been having a rough time and that it's put you on the edge, then hopefully she'll see the light.
And as for your mom, that was a horrible thing for her to say. Even if you had everything in the world, it wouldn't change the fact that you are depressed, and are hurting right now.
Stay strong
"I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it looses all of its meaning"
~Andy Warhol
Sounds like things are pretty rough. I can say that sometimes the medication takes a long time to kick in. I was once on something that took nearly 2 months just to start making me feel normal.
Hun I know things are hard right now but they can get better. How long have you been on the medication for? As medication can usually take up to 6 weeks to start working. If it has been longer perhaps you can go back to your doctor and explain that your still feeling bad, as the meds may need readjusting. I am sorry your mum didn't validate how you feel that must have hurt. She may have had this reaction through as it can be scary to think of those you love of wanting to kill themselves. I'm sorry about what happened with your friend, but if she is a true friend you will sort things out. Hold on there hun
Kat xxx
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
Firstly, hun, you have no need to apologise for posting on here. What your friend and Mother have said are unfair and hurtful.
It can take a long time for moods and emotions to settle. It will happen though, you say the medicine is helping a little and that is a good thing - Hopefully it will continue to do so and over time you will feel less fragile.
It is very very hard to spend time with someone that has depression. That, however, is no excuse not to. You are suffering from depression, and you do not need to have a catastrophe of a life for it to make you feel suicidal or unhappy. I think maybe give your Mother some literature on depression so that she can understand that.
Do you receive any therapy at all? As it sounds like you need someone to talk how your are feeling through with. Maybe that is something you can look into?
Hold on in there, sweetie. Things will improve and the chances are, your friend will come back apologising for her words.
*hugs*
Be gentle with yourself.
Roiben x
If the Human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we wouldn't.
Thank you, everyone.
I do see a therapist, but I haven't been in almost two weeks.
Monday is when I see her again.
My friend probably won't come back.
I don't blame her, though.
Chloe, hun, I'm really sorry. Things are hard just now but it will get better. Keep trying, hold on. Your friend was completely wrong about you and in my opinion, it's her loss. Loss of a great friend and an amazing person from her life. Your mum was out of order saying that to you and I know it's hard hearing things like that from your mum, you know I have problems with my mum too. Keep trying, please. I'm always here for you. I love you sweetheart <3
Chloe, it's so easy to turn this into something that seems to be again your fault and to let the evidence 'against you' stack up. I understand how it feels to think you're doing something wrong and it feels pretty terrible and self-destructive. I hope you didn't do too much today/last night to hurt yourself.
Please focus upon getting to your therapist appointment on Monday and explain what has happened and how you're feeling, everything, to her. That might keep you going over the weekend.
As far as I'm concerned, from what I've seen of you on here, you're doing nothing wrong and being who you should be, yourself. Please don't stop being the Chloe that we all love!
Thanks, everyone. (:
I guess I was already feeling bad, and that just made it worse.
But I don't know why I was feeling bad in the first place.
The medicine was helping..
