So I was self harming about 2 years ago and I was finally able to stop. Well I have had a trauma happen recently. And I have turned back to the my old habits. I want to change my mind about how to relieve my pain. Does anybody have types of how to avoid cutting. And replace it with something positive. I have tried the red marker and a rubber band.
You were already able to stop self-harming before and that's great. Even though you slipped up later, you've still done a great job. I'm sorry you went through a traumatic situation recently. It's understandable to relapse after things like that. Do you have any professional help? Talking things out with a therapist might be helpful.
Different people get different things from self-harm. What do you think was so inviting about your old habits that made you turn back to it? Is it a way to distract yourself from difficult emotions, or conversely a way to stop feeling numb? Is it a way to release tension? What is that emotion that your habit gives you and you crave?
There are different coping mechanisms for pain. Do you know any of them, other than self-harm, that seem to help you?
As for stopping cutting, the most important thing is to take it one step at a time. If you can't tell yourself you wouldn't cut when you get the urge yet, just try to delay it, until the urge passes. Distract yourself with some other activities. It's good to call someone to talk to, or even chat online, talking is helpful and a good distraction. If you feel like that wouldn't be enough to keep you safe, it can be helpful to go to a public place, or invite people over, creating a situation where you just can't give into the urge immediately, until it passes. It is also important to learn a replacement coping strategy that works for you, so you know what to do instead of cutting when you're hurt. It might be also helpful to have a journal when you can write about your feelings to let them out in a healthier way. I found having one here on RYL pretty helpful. It's also important to know what exactly triggers you to get the urge to self-harm and avoid that as much as possible. Don't forget to acknowledge your success! Your record might not be perfect, but every time you beat the urges is an achievement. Finally, getting professional help is probably the best thing you can do to help yourself to quit self-harm. As much as we all want to help and give nice advice, none of us can be as helpful as a professional. There might be an underlying reason why you cut in the first place, and a professional can figure it out and help.
To me its just helping me release my emotions. Since I get in trouble for showing them any other time. Nobody sees my cuts so nobody can ever say anything
Is there anyone in your life at all who you feel able to trust to confide in about how you're feeling, who won't be negative with you for expressing yourself? There are lots of safer ways of releasing emotions, I sometimes find writing helpful. What emotions is it you're feeling that you are needing to release?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
i used to write in a journal everyday. Till my parents found out and got really mad because of what it said. So they burned it. The only person I can express my emotions to is my mother which don't get me wrong I love her. But its hard for her to do anything when she lives in Ohio. And I live 5 states away. I would love to go live with her but right now its just not possible. I need it more than anything though.
Do you at least get to talk to your Mum on the phone regularly? If writing a journal used to help and you think it might help now you could always create a private online journal.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I have tried doing a online journal but they come in my room anytime the door is shut so its hard to find the privacy to do it without getting in trouble. Just for trying to express my emotions in a healthy way instead of cutting my wrist. These last couple of days we have been talking constantly because I really want to move to Ohio. But with 2 dogs its hard. If they didn't play a positive roll in my life than it would be different but they have learned to calm me down and advert my attention for cutting me to cuddling them
Pets can be a great distraction and comfort. It's a shame you're lacking in the privacy needed to healthily express yourself. Does it help posting here at all?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
That's positive. Now would be a good time to work out a plan for when urges do happen so that you are hopefully prepared. I'm not sure what to suggest but there is a big distractions list here (link) which could be useful.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
